


True identity

by Adsagsona



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Memory Loss
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-19
Updated: 2015-03-17
Packaged: 2018-02-05 09:10:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 24,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1813045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adsagsona/pseuds/Adsagsona
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oliver wakes up in the hospital, not knowing how he got there. When John and Felicity realise that he has forgotten his years on the island and his work as the Hood, they try anything to get him to remember... but does Oliver want to?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, something new again. I don't know if the idea is new, so I'm sorry if I'm stealing someone else's, but I didn't read it anywhere yet. I hope to make something out of this, although I'm not sure where I'm going with it for the moment.   
> I was just thinking that Oliver Queen was forced in the situation he is in now... and if he really had a choice, would he do everything all over again and relive the horrors? And would he want to forget about his new found friends...  
> Something I wanted to work out, I hope you guys enjoy!  
> Also, no beta, so all the mistakes are my own.

He blinked a couple of times, but the lights were too bright and he screwed his eyes shut tightly. Everything seemed to spin, and he held his hands to the edge of the bed beneath him.  
Bed? What was he doing in bed? Wasn’t it… Wait, how late was it?  
Thinking of another all-nighter drinking with his best buddy Tommy, he opened his eyes again to assess the situation.

“He’s awake. Mr. Queen, can you hear me?”

Oh, loud voice in his ear. Damn, couldn’t they just calm it down a notch? Where did he fall asleep anyway?

“Mr Queen, you’re in the hospital right now. Nod if you understand me.”

Okay, he could manage a nod. His head bobbed up and down lightly, just once, and it was enough to split it in two. Groaning he wanted to grab at his forehead, but his hands were tied to the bed. What the hell was going on?

“I wasn’t that drunk.” He managed to mutter and the man, a blurry image, in front of him seemed to smile and shake his head.

“We just wanted to prevent you from hurting yourself, we will untie you.” The man said softly as the bonds were loosened. Oliver rubbed first one wrist and then the other, before wanting to sit up but deciding against it as the throbbing in his head only seemed to be getting worse.

“What happened?” He asked as he kept his eyes tightly shut, a sigh escaping his lips as his hands brushed over those same eyes and stubbly cheeks. Stubble? When was the last time he shaved? 

“You were found just outside of your nightclub Verdant, nobody knew you were there. They could not get you to wake so they brought you here. There was no evidence of intoxication in your body, and you seem healthy otherwise, so we might just call it stress-related. How are you feeling at the moment?”

Oliver frowned at the mention of ‘your nightclub’, but shook it off as an error from the doctor, the man couldn’t know everything of course, not even from the life of Oliver Queen, tabloid king. The doctor might not have been interested in tabloids either.

“A throbbing headache, but fine otherwise, I think.” He shrugged as he tried to open his eyes again. The doctor had been so kind as to turn to lights lower which made it far more agreeable and he smiled in gratitude.

“I know that you have been through much the last couple of years, Mr. Queen, but I need to know if this has happened to you before. Did you black out before?” The doctor sat on the edge of the bed.  
Oliver frowned a little as he tried to think it over, but shook his head lightly.

“Not that I recall.” 

“Good. We will leave it at that for now, but we are going to do some more tests tomorrow. We will keep you under observation in the coming days. Rest.” The doctor concluded as he stepped out of the room.

He was not gone five minutes when the door opened again, revealing his mother and sister. Oliver smiled when he noticed them and managed to sit up a little without his headache worsening. When he looked down at himself he found out he was in a hospital gown and groaned.

“This is becoming a familiar sight. I don’t like it, Oliver.” His mother sighed as she stepped closer to hug him. Oliver didn’t know why she was being so nice when he was just blacked out after a heavy night. But then again they had said that he wasn’t intoxicated… this was all very odd.

“I’m sorry, mum. I have no idea what happened.” He said softly and then looked at his sister, standing a bit away from him. He beckoned her to come over and wrapped her in a big hug. “I’m sorry, sis, I really didn’t mean to scare you.” He whispered closely to her ear. To his surprise she began to sob.

“Why do you always do these kind of things, Oliver? You disappear and when you… when you come back you’re always so different. You get shot, you’re in the hospital without reason, you’re…” She began, but then she shook her head and held up her hand.

“I don’t need your excuses.”

“But… I have no idea what you’re talking about. I didn’t get shot, I would remember that! And I don’t… I go out, yes, but I don’t disappear. What the hell?!” He asked as he looked from his mother to his sister, who then looked at each other.

“Oliver, I think that you really need rest. Thea, we’ll go and see his doctor.” Moira nodded towards her daughter who reluctantly went away from Oliver and into the hallway.

“Mr. Diggle, I’m going to see Oliver’s doctor. You can stay with him?” She asked John Diggle, who had been with them on their way to the hospital. Outwardly John was calm, but his collected cool wavered when he thought of an unconscious Oliver in a hospital bed. They would have to get him out of there as soon as possible.

“Yes, ma’am.” He quickly replied before seeing the two Queens disappear around the corner. He gestured for Felicity to come out of hiding in the waiting room and then they quickly entered Oliver’s room, finding him half asleep.

“Oliver, you’re okay!” Felicity happily smiled as she went over to his bed and hugged Oliver tightly. They had been through much together lately and it was to settle her own nerves that she hugged Oliver, wanting to know that he was really as well as he could be under the circumstances.

Oliver’s eyes shot open and his hands flew to her wrists, fingers wrapping around them like a vice, before realising what he was doing and letting her go. Felicity was shocked for a moment, but then realised that she had caught him by surprise. He had not hurt her, but he would have if he hadn’t stopped himself.  
“I’m sorry, miss, I didn’t mean to scare you.” Oliver mumbled before he glanced at the both of them.

“What are you doing in my room? If you are reporters, you should probably go before I get you kicked out of here.” He raised his hand to the buzzer above his head, but John was moving more quickly and held it out of his reach.  
Oliver glared at him.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“Oliver, it’s me… John, and this is Felicity. Don’t you remember us?” He asked and Oliver looked at the both of them with a look on his face which betrayed him. He had no clue who they were.

“Should I know you?” He asked then.

“Oliver…” Felicity slowly came to his bed again and sat on the edge, careful not to touch him again. It was clear that he thought they were complete strangers.

“What do you remember of… let us say the island?” She asked and he looked at her like she had just said that he had returned from Mars.

“I have no idea what you are talking about. Fuck, why can’t everyone stop asking all of these questions. If I wanted questions I would have gone to college for real, you know. I don’t care about all of this, I just want to go home.” 

“He doesn’t remember.” Felicity gasped as she took a step back.

“What don’t I remember? Who the fuck are you people?” He now half growled and he sat up straight, wanting to stand up, but not steady on his feet. He cursed again and glared from one to the other, now annoyed with them.

“How old do you think you are, Oliver?” 

His head shot up to John and he groaned in pain.

“Twenty. Fucking twenty, man. Alright? Just leave me alone.”

“Oh God.” Felicity gasped again in the background and she quietly stepped forward. She sat next to Oliver on the bed and laid a hand on his shoulder until he looked up at her slowly. 

“Oliver… it’s the year 2014… you’re becoming twenty-nine.” 

Her always present tablet showed the newspaper of that day, with the date above it. Oliver looked from the paper to her and to John. Just in that moment a noise started in the hallway. John and Felicity got up and beckoned Oliver to come with them.

“Trust us.” John said and for some reason, Oliver knew that he did. Grabbing his clothes he quickly dressed, pulling a cap over his head to hide his eyes he walked after them out of the hospital, leaving only an empty room behind.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity takes Oliver home with her, so that he can't disappear on them until he has his memory back.  
> He flirts, she rolls her eyes and then he learns something more about himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A very quick chapter two already, I'm so pleased that this is flowing smoothly. Figuring this is going to turn out in perhaps a bit of a longer story. I hope you guys enjoy!

Oliver still wasn’t steady on his legs, so John supported him until they got to Felicity’s car. John hurriedly looked around, but nobody seemed to look at them. 

“Where are we going?” Oliver asked and Felicity hesitated. They were going to bring him back to the foundry, but now that was revealed that he didn’t even remember being the Hood, they probably shouldn’t venture there, not yet anyway.

“Would you like to take a few days off?” Felicity asked Oliver and Oliver laughed softly, until his ribs hurt him and he hissed in pain.

“I didn’t know I had to take days off… do I have job? And you really have to tell me who you guys are before I get into a car with you.” 

Felicity, now getting a glimpse of the younger Oliver, realised that although he had been a playboy a few years back, he wasn’t stupid, far from it even. He stood there with an arm over his ribs, leaning forward a little so that people would not get a good look at his face, gazing at the both of them.

“I’m your bodyguard, Oliver, John Diggle. We will take you to a safe place where you can recover and there you can call your mother or your sister to confirm. I have been working for you for quite some time now.”

Oliver looked straight at John and then sighed. 

“If you are kidnapping me, you’re going to have a huge problem keeping me hidden. You do know I’m Oliver Queen, right?” 

Felicity giggled softly and John rolled his eyes before opening the car door for Oliver. He got in with little hesitation and draped himself over the backseat, slumping down so that nobody could see him sitting in the car.

“Now, miss…” He began before she cut him off. 

“It’s just Felicity, Oliver… I work for you, so you don’t need to call me miss.” Felicity explained as she clicked her seat belt and started to drive towards her apartment, the only place she and John thought of on such short notice.

Oliver had fallen asleep on their way over to Felicity’s apartement. She had snuck a look now and then through the rear-view mirror, seeing his face completely relax and at peace, so different from how she remembered him from the days before, the years before. 

“You seem happy, Oliver.” She whispered softly before parking her car right in front of the door and slipping her hand between the two front seats to touch his leg. Instantly he jerked away, sat upright and clutched her hand in his.  
He looked around for a moment and when his eyes found her, he relaxed.

“Sorry, I seem to do that… often lately. Did I hurt you?” Oliver asked 

“No, it’s okay. Are you coming? Out of the car, I mean…” She quickly followed her question up, but didn’t miss the twinkle in his eyes when he closed the car door behind him, walking up the steps together with her.

“So Felicity, you… work for me?” He asked and she sighed at the obvious in his question. She waited until they were at her apartment and she could open the door to answer that question.

“No, I do not work for you, I work for Queen Consolidated. We work together, if you must know.”

Oliver stepped through, walking into the small living room and frowning a little at the sight. He was used to so much more and bigger, that this felt off. 

“Have I ever been here before?” He asked and Felicity shook her head. “No, you’ve never been here before. Like I said, we work together.” 

She didn’t tell about the foundry and about his extra hours, it wasn’t the time and she didn’t know how he would react. Oliver walked over to the couch and sat down, feeling the headache returning again. He closed his eyes and sighed softly. When he opened them again Felicity was sitting right next to him, holding something in her hand.

“Painkillers. You looked like you could use them.”

With a thankful smile he took them and swallowed the pills down with a glass of water. 

“Thank you.” He whispered softly.

“You should get some rest. You’re safe here. I’m just going to fix us something to eat.” Felicity said as she stood. It was only minutes later that Oliver was in a deep sleep in a quite awkward position, with his face resting in his hands, his body folded up on her small couch.   
When Felicity returned with the food, she had to smile at the sight before her. She put his plate in the fridge, before quickly eating hers.

“Oliver…” This time she did not shake him, as she felt the last couple of times that he did not like that. His mind might not have remembered his experiences on the island, but his body certainly did, quick reflexes and all.

“Mmyeah, baby, I’m up.” He mumbled as he opened his eyes. They widened considerably as he realised that he was talking to a girl he barely knew and was working together with him. “I really did just say that, did I?” He sighed as she giggled.

“I’m glad I’m not the only one doing that kind of thing. It’s nice to see you so relax.” She smiled and it made him a little confused. He slowly sat up, this time noticing his aching ribs a little more clearly, and finally looked at Felicity for the person she was, someone who knew about the man he was now.

“I’m not relaxed anymore? What kind of job am I doing right now? I mean, do you know what is going on in my life?” He asked, but Felicity shook her head again. 

“I know you have a lot of questions, Oliver, but you are tired, I am too… and I know that you are in pain, although you don’t say anything. So, does a shower sound nice to you? And then bed perhaps?” 

His smile broadened. 

“A shower does sound nice. Are you coming with me?” He asked and she laughed lightly, slapping his leg. 

“No! Wow, they weren’t kidding when they said you were a playboy before. That isn’t going to happen, buddy, I still have to work with you after this.”

“I understand, you don’t want to blush every time you look at me.” He smiled again and then he bent forward just a little, whispering into her ear. “But I can tell you that you look beautiful, right?” 

She actually blushed and pulled back, clearing her throat and folding her hands in her lap.

“Thank you, but you’re not going to get more out of me by flattering me. Rest first, then tomorrow John and I will answer your questions the best we can. And maybe it wouldn’t hurt phoning your mother so that she knows you are safe.”

She expected him to shut down completely, as he did so often. It mostly looked like the blinds were pulled down inside of his head and his thoughts were shut off from everyone. But that didn’t happen, instead he kept smiling, but he understood that she was right.

“Okay, where is the bathroom?” He asked and she pointed. He slowly made his way to the small bathroom and she called out to him where he could find the towels. When she realised that he would have nothing to wear, she began to rummage through her closet, knowing that she had something of Oliver, just like John, for when he showed up at their place, just in case.

“What the hell!” 

His shout had gone through the walls and Felicity looked up.

“Ohoh…” She whispered as she stepped out of her bedroom and made her way into the doorway of the bathroom, which stood open and revealed an Oliver naked from the waist up, staring at his mirror image.

“What the hell happened to me?” He asked as he looked from the mirror to Felicity and back. “What did they to do me? How come I can’t remember looking like… this! Fuck!”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity gets Oliver to stay the night with her, and answers a few of his questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, an attempt to continue this story and hopefully succeeding. Felicity tells just a little more, and hopefully it gets them a little closer together.   
> Thank you for all the kudos, I really appreciate it!  
> Enjoy

She thanked whatever gods listening that her bathroom mirror wasn’t very large, so that Oliver could only see his face and a portion of his shoulders. She hoped that he hadn’t really looked down at his body long enough to pay attention.   
She caught Oliver looking at her in a manner that reminded her of the Oliver she had always known, so haunted that she had to bite her tongue not to spurt into one of her ramblings.

“Tell me.” He instructed in a strained voice.

“I can’t.”

“What? You can’t or you won’t.” Oliver took two steps until he was standing right before her, his hands clinging over her upper arms and shaking her for just a moment, until he realised what he was doing, and stepping back just as sudden.  
He looked at his own hands.

“Who am I?” He asked again and he glanced back at Felicity, who had shrunk back against the wall next to the doorway. It took him a few minutes to notice that he didn’t get an answer and that the girl who had gotten him out of the hospital was probably more afraid of him than he thought.

“Felicity, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” He began as he held up his hands, like he would approach a wild animal. “Listen, this is not a good idea, me being here. I should go home, my parents will know what to do and then we can… talk afterwards, okay. Figure some stuff out.”

That seemed to bring her out of her stupor, because she rushed to him and stood right in front of him, shaking her head.

“No, no, no, no… you’re not going, Oliver. A lot of things have changed since what you remember and… I don’t think the mansion is the right place for you now.” Felicity desperately tried to think of a way to keep Oliver in the apartment, but she knew that if he really pressed, he could get out easily.

“Is it that important to you that I stay here?” He asked as he looked her in the eyes, and again she found a glimpse of the Oliver she knew well, and she dared a smile.

“Yes, it is. Please.” She added that last word for his sake. His shoulders slumped and he sighed, walking out of the bathroom and into the living room, sitting on the couch which was to become his bed.  
He raked his hands through his short hair, still surprised at its length. His mind was a mess, he had woken up in the thought that he was just Oliver Queen, period. And now there was this girl telling him that he couldn’t leave this apartment, and he had the urge to throttle and cuddle her all at the same time.  
He didn’t even like blondes! He felt his headache coming on even stronger and as he heard her tiptoe through the living room to her own room, he looked up.

“Is there something that you can tell me now, that… something real? Please. Because I seem to have a lot of things to work out in this time, world… whatever.” He mumbled and despite herself she smiled.

“You can do that too.” She stated and Oliver frowned at her for a moment. Felicity sat down on her coffee table, opposite of him. “Ramble. I didn’t know you could do that. You’re always so collected and… cool.”

“I am?” He sounded like he didn’t believe her. “That’s a first… I mean, I can be charming when I want to be, but… really? Nice.” For not the first time that night Felicity wondered about the younger Oliver, because despite all what she had heard, this man seemed to enjoy his life to the fullest.

“Okay, small stuff then. What do you want to know?” Felicity clasped her hands together.

“Did we… ever hook up?”

Felicity slapped his knee in response, and he chuckled.

“I’ll take that as a no. I had to ask.”

“You can ask questions about what has been happening the last couple of years and all you want to know is if we slept together? You really think just about one thing, do you? Wow, I never figured you for such a guy but it seems that you are.” Felicity shook her head, she was disappointed.

“I ask that kind of question because… I’m afraid of the truth.” Oliver confessed and Felicity gasped lightly in surprise. Then she attempted a smile.

“Don’t worry, you’re a good man. You’re just… troubled. And that’s fine because anyone would be troubled with the experience you’ve had, which you don’t remember of course but once you do you’ll…”

“Felicity.” A gentle hand on her arm brought her back.

“I’m sorry, I’m the one who should be giving the answers, I’m not very good at this. Just give me numbers, and computers and tablets…. But this is… hard.” His hand squeezed for just a moment and as she looked up, blue eyes looked at her in a concerned manner.   
Felicity took a deep breath before starting over.

“Okay… The reason for your looks… You were stranded on an island and this is what you wanted when you got back. Short hair, no fuss… You loose your stubble now and again to go to a gala, but I’m guessing you kind of like it.”

“An island?” He leaned in closer.

“I don’t know much about that time, Oliver, that is why I didn’t want to tell you about it. You… you’ve been through a lot there. The scars… most of them are from there.” Felicity worried her lower lip with her teeth and stared at the window.

“That’s enough.” Oliver nodded and she gazed at him.

“I don’t want to know more, that’s enough. I just want to go to bed if that’s okay.” Oliver’s head was spinning with information, although she had not told him much. Felicity nodded and stood.

“You’re not going to disappear on me, are you? With going to bed, you really mean going to bed?” She asked just to be sure and Oliver raised an eyebrow.

“It’s just… John told me that when you first got back from the island you had the habit of disappearing on him. He quit the job because of that, but you bugged him until you could hire him again.” 

“That’s my bodyguard.” Oliver guessed and Felicity nodded. “Your bodyguard and your friend, but you’ll find that out soon enough. I just… hope you’ll be here in the morning, because there are things that you really need to know before you leave.” 

“I’ll be here, I promise.” Oliver smiled and Felicity smiled back, going through her closet to fetch him a pillow and blanket for the fold-out couch. “I’m going to take that shower now.” 

With that he stood and walked back to the bathroom, where he now shut the door. Felicity could hear the shower running. Knowing Oliver, she quickly checked that he was under the shower, before she went to bed herself.  
She had to keep reminding herself that this Oliver was not the one she had worked with in the last year.

The knock on her door startled her.

“The bathroom is free… good night.” Oliver quietly told her. She glanced at the tower wrapped around his waist, blushed a little and then quickly dashed into the bathroom before she made matters worse.

When she returned, Oliver had folded himself onto the couch, his eyes closed. Figuring him a light sleeper, she tried her best to tiptoe around the couch, but then she heard him snoring.   
Eyes wide, she realised that he was sound asleep, and that for a man who never slept more than a few hours a night.

She wondered if he was better off not knowing all that he had been through. Perhaps he would be happier this way.

It was only when he began to mutter something in his sleep that she caught herself staring and she went into her own bedroom, closing the door behind her. Sleep did not come easily to her that night, she did not know what they could do to make him remember.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver has a nightmare and Felicity is there to comfort him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, hope you're still interested in the story, because it will continue. Hope you like it!

It took her a few minutes to catch on. She started awake, looking left and right before realising that whatever was making that noise, was not in her bedroom. Quietly, slowly, she rose from the bed and opened up the door.   
When she saw nothing but Oliver on the couch, she released a breath she didn’t know she was holding. 

He had stretched out, lying on his back, his arm over his head. When he heard the door opening he lifted his arm and looked up at her.

“Did I wake you? I’m sorry… I think…” He frowned for a moment and Felicity could just tell that he was contemplating on what he would share with her. 

“Nightmare?” She offered and Oliver gratefully nodded. 

“I know that this is going to sound like a crappy line,” Oliver began, and he sounded like he was having doubts even when saying this, “but do you mind if I sleep in the same bed? I swear I’m not trying anything.”

He held his hands up in the perfect picture of innocence and Felicity was considering whether to believe him or not. She wasn’t sure about Oliver anymore, like she would have been only two days ago. 

“You like to sleep alone.” She stated and his smile saddened.

“I gather why. I’m dangerous.” He sighed softly. 

“Yes, you are, but only to those who deserve it.” Felicity took a step into the living room and then nodded for Oliver to join her. “We might as well both get some sleep while it’s still dark. Come on, Queen.”

Oliver now smiled brightly, every bit the image of his twenty year old self, and sauntered off to the bedroom behind Felicity, carefully shutting the door behind him. His eyes scanned over Felicity’s body, more out of habit than anything, but he appreciated what he saw. She settled on her side of the bed, so close to the edge that she almost fell off.

He quickly got in on the other side and tried to get comfortable in the for him small bed. They touched, even without them trying, and they both drew in their breath, before Felicity began to giggle.

“Okay, good night.”

“Good night, Felicity, I might hug you in my sleep.” He warned after that as he closed his eyes. It took a long time after that warning before sleep claimed Felicity. About an hour after they had gone to bed she felt an arm around her waist and a soft breath in her ear, but Oliver was sound asleep.

Trying to relax in his hold, she finally slept.

A few hours later the sun was up and Felicity blinked a couple of times. Her head rested on a broad chest, her hand wrapped around it securely. She did not dare to make a sound as she tried to recall what happened the night before.   
Oliver… 

She dared to look up to his face. Oliver was definitely awake, his hand rubbing slow circles in between her shoulder blades, but his eyes were closed and he did not seem to be in a hurry to open them.

“Hi.” He mumbled softly.

“Hi. You didn’t leave.” Felicity stated and she tried to sit up, but his hand pressed her down lightly and she had no choice but to stay where she was. He shrugged at her statement.

“Didn’t know where to go.”

That was true, and Felicity felt sorry for him. He was in a world he did not recognise and instead of missing five years, he now missed about ten. But he was far more relaxed than he had been before.

“Are you sure we just work together?” Oliver then asked innocently and Felicity pushed against his chest, so that he had to loosen his hold on her. She had to confess to herself that this felt nice, waking up next to Oliver, but she couldn’t let him flirt with her. He would probably hate himself afterwards, being the guilt ridden Oliver he was.

“Very sure.” She folded her arms and gazed at him sternly.

“Wow.” He muttered as he got up. 

“What?” Felicity frowned, ready to go into another speech about how they worked together, that she was an IT girl and that she helped him, but then he spoke again.

“I have no idea how I am with my memories, but I’m probably a huge idiot.” Oliver sighed and this time he sounded earnest. Felicity didn’t dare to comment, didn’t dare to act upon the small ember of hope which his voice sparked.  
This was not the Oliver she knew.

“Well, when you regain your memory, tell yourself that.” She smiled as she got out of the room and took a few deep breaths. This was not going to go well. How was she supposed to spend time with Oliver if he was constantly flirting with her? She couldn’t take much more of this before she would be the one to kiss him instead of the other way around.  
She was startled out of her thoughts with Oliver’s phone ringing.

Within a moment Oliver was standing next to her, taking the phone from her hands. She eeped, had not expected him to be so close so fast and it seemed to have surprised him as well, because the look he gave her was one of wonder.

“Hello mum.” He answered the phone and almost immediately pulled it away from his ear, letting his mother go off at him.

“Mum… mum… mother!” He began again and then he seemed to manage to silence her. “I am with friends, okay? No, I have not been kidnapped, everything is fine. No, they are not making me say that.”

The answer wasn’t the one he wanted to hear.

“Look, I have just lost nine years of my life, I have no idea what has been going on. Yes, they already told me about the island. Who are they? If you must know, John is here with me… yes, the bodyguard, John Diggle, he is here. Okay, mum? I am protected, there is nothing wrong with me except for a headache.”

He mumbled his goodbyes before putting the phone down and dropping it on the table. Then he looked back at Felicity.

“Time for answers.” He stated and his steely voice didn’t let room for anything else. Again he surprised himself and looked confused.

“I am sorry, Oliver, I know that it is a lot to take in.” Felicity stepped closer and wanted to touch him, but Oliver shrugged it off. There was the Oliver she knew. Felicity’s sad smile registered with Oliver and he wanted to apologise, but she didn’t let him.

“It’s okay.” She nodded.

They both quickly dressed and Felicity made a mental note to let John gather some more clothes for Oliver. Some laid in the foundry so he could probably last another week or so, but she had no idea how long the amnesia would last.

“Where are we going?” Oliver asked as they walked towards her car. Neither of them had breakfast, Oliver out of habit and Felicity because she was too nervous about their next step. She was going to take him to the club and the foundry, where John would be waiting for them.

“To the Glades, to your father’s old factory. You’ve made it into a club, Verdant. It’s booming actually, you’re doing very well for yourself.”

“Clubowner, yeah, that would be something I’d do.” Oliver said softly and for a moment Felicity wondered if there was sadness in his tone. She remembered that she’d best not touch him, but she wanted to offer some comfort.

“You have a purpose in your life, Oliver.” 

“Yeah, I guess so. It’s just difficult to imagine right now. All I want to do is go home, talk to my family and friends… but I don’t even know if they… do I have contact with my family and my old friends, Felicity?” He asked and she bit her lower lip.

This was going to be next to impossible to explain.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver learns a little more of his former life, and the people he has lost. And he kind of beats up Diggle...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So hey, I'm back... sorry about the long pause, a bit of real life coming in between the writing, but going strong again now. But I have work coming up in a few days so... I hope that I can update more regularly than this.  
> I hope you enjoy the next chapter, Oliver is learning a bit more about himself here... things he doesn't want to hear.  
> This is going to turn in a hellofalong story, but I like it :)

“Oh no, it’s bad, isn’t it?” He gasped as he looked out of the window, when she didn’t immediately answer. “I knew there was something wrong with the way my mother and sister looked at me. Thea seemed so much older and wiser than when I last looked at her… but then again she was just a kid when I last remember her. Her eyes were sad…” He ran his hands through his hair.

“Do you want to hear this right now?” Felicity asked as she manoeuvred her car through the city and into the Glades. The club was not that far, but the traffic was giving difficulties. She could not take her eyes off the road.

“I need to know.” 

His voice sounded low and rough, as if the grief already had settled there, even before he remembered who he was grieving for. But then again he did, he must have realised that some people very dear to him were lost to him.

“Your father… You were together with him on the Queen’s Gambit when she sank. That is how you got stuck on that island. She sank. And your father… he…” She didn’t know how she should finish that sentence, but the small intake of breath was enough to know that the message had hit home.  
She dared a look in Oliver’s direction and only saw a few tears slide over his cheeks, his fist balled against the car door.

“No…” He whispered as his hands covered his face, but he tried to keep his grief contained, for her sake. Felicity cursed herself for having to do this, for being the one that had to tell him all of the bad news all at once, to make him relive all that pain that he had pushed down so deep he couldn’t remember.

“I’m sorry.” 

Her words didn’t register. She just let him be, and she stopped the car near the club. Verdant was not open that day, so they wouldn’t be disturbed any time soon. She opened the side door with the key Oliver had given her, and let the both of them in.  
She directed Oliver to the bar and sat him down, he did not even look at her when he sat down.

“I’ll go and get John.” She said, but Oliver’s hand wrapped around her wrist and kept her close to him.

“You haven’t told me everything.” His voice was almost normal again and he was not begging for information, he was demanding it. From the moment she stopped, he let go of her and sat down on the bar stool.

“Oliver, I’m afraid that…”

“It is going to be too much? Probably, but I want to hear it. This is my life, Felicity, and I don’t know anything about it. I need to know, okay? And I obviously trust you, so I think it’s better that you tell me.”

“Then I will need a drink.” Felicity sighed as she grabbed a nearby bottle. It was not like her to drink, and certainly not so early in the day, but she needed the courage.   
As she gulped down a shot of tequila, she hiccupped and left the bottle on the counter. She suspected that she would need more soon.  
Where should she begin?

“From what you remember, do you have relationship with Laurel Lance?” She asked him and Oliver frowned for a moment, before a small smile played about his lips. He nodded at the question and was obviously trying to remember more, but he failed and growled in frustration.

“I’m still together with Laurel?” He asked then, his eyes wide in disbelief, because that wouldn’t be like him, to stay with one woman for so long an amount of time. But then Felicity had told him about the island. 

“No, of course not.” He muttered as he realised that wouldn’t be possible. 

“You actually went on the Queen’s Gambit together with her sister, Sara.” Felicity began to explain slowly and Oliver narrowed his eyes. His mouth formed a small ‘oh’ as it hit him that he had cheated on Laurel with her own sister and his eyes showed how much it pained him to have to hear this.

“I’m such a jerk.” He sighed and before Felicity could think about her decision, she laid a hand on his knee, which made him look at her.

“I don’t know you that long, but you’re not. You… were… a jerk, yeah.” Felicity then had to nod and it actually made him smile.

“You’re refreshing, you know that?” Oliver half asked as he looked at her hand for a moment, but made no move to push it away or to touch her. “You tell me the truth, that didn’t happen much from what I remember. I hope that at least has changed. Nobody called me out on what I did wrong, so I upped my game each time. Me and Tommy, we…” He began and his eyes shot at her face with the gasp of fear she let out.  
He looked around but found no one else.

“Is there something wrong with Tommy? Oh fuck, I’ve messed everything up, didn’t I? I have to apologise to Laurel, to Sara, to Tommy… is there someone else I have to apologise to? Fuck!” He shouted this and it echoed through the empty bar.

“Oliver, when the Queen’s Gambit went down, she took your father with her… and Sara too. You were the only survivor. You stranded on the island where you stayed for five years until you managed to flag down a boat which took you back to shore.”

The pain returned and Oliver reached for the bottle, taking a big gulp himself. He hissed as it poured down his throat and he set the bottle down again, lowering his head in his arms. 

“I’ m a murderer. I’ve killed Laurel’s sister, my father he…” He lifted his head and tried to regain his composure. Felicity wondered about how much Oliver talked, she was used to his silence.

“Your father asked one last thing of you before he died. He made you promise something.” Felicity decided to dive in head first, because she didn’t know another way. “And part of that promise is in the basement of the club.”

“Okay, let’s go.” Oliver got up from his barstool and brought the bottle of tequila with him. Felicity looked at it for a long moment but didn’t say a thing. They walked to the basement where she punched in the code.

“John, we’re here!” She called out, finding John in his suit and tie, waiting for the both of them to arrive. When he saw Oliver’s face he frowned and Felicity gestured that she not ask now.

“Your mother called me and I said you were alright. She didn’t seem to believe me.” John therefore said and Oliver shrugged. He loved his mother and sister, and would do anything for them, but right now he was focused on himself. Like he had been most of his life, he had to add.

“What is this place?” He gaped as he looked around, finding the work out gear strewn around the basement, Felicity’s setup of computers. John had been quick to remove the bow and arrows from the room, as that would have been too much questions at one time.

“When you came back from the island, you went back to the Glades, to the old factory of your father. This is where you started your mission, and you involved John a short while after.” Felicity began and John gestured to the work out gear.

“You don’t tell us much about yourself, Oliver, but this is the place where you can be yourself and you don’t have to tell lies. We two are the ones that know most about you in this life. You trust us and we trust you. That’s all there is to it.” He finished shortly.

“And I’m supposed to believe that.” Oliver stated as he eyed the weights, the salmon ladder, and the bars posted high onto the ceiling, the training dummy… “I don’t know any of that stuff, I don’t work out.” He pointed.

John glanced at Felicity and then he hit Oliver. Or he tried to, because Oliver was quicker and blocked his fist. Oliver’s eyes went wide and just when he was about to say something, John raised his other hand and tried to hit Oliver’s side. Oliver twisted out of the way, blocked John’s arm and grabbed a hold of it, flipping him easily over his head onto the training mat. 

John stayed there for a minute, regaining his breath, as Oliver backed up to the wall, looking at his hands.

“I… I’m sorry… I… I didn’t think…” He began as John came up to his knees. “You attacked me!” Oliver then accused.

“Your mind might not remember who you are, but your body does. And this is just… you haven’t touched yet what you’re capable of, Oliver.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver is trying to come to terms with his memories, Felicity and Diggle are trying to help him. Oliver mutters, he drinks and he works out... and Felicity blushes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I'm sorry for the long wait, but here I am again. Thank you so very much for the kudos and the comments. I appreciate every single one of them. I hope you guys like this chapter as well!

“So I was right, I am a killer.” Oliver’s mouth was a thin line and he did not look at either of them. “And these? What are these?” He lifted his shirt just high enough that a few of his scars were revealed, before putting it back down.  
“Other memories of my career as a serial killer?”

“No. Memories of what you’ve survived.” John answered in an equally short tone before he walked over to Felicity, who was busy flipping through screens on her computers. She was searching for newspaper clippings which would help Oliver remember.   
Oliver slumped down along the wall and sat in silence, his knees bent and his head resting on his knees. He had taken large gulps of the bottle of tequila which still sat in between his feet.

“Y’knw? I dn’t f’cking care ‘bout that new Oliver. I’m fine just like this.” He muttered.

Felicity and John both turned to him.

“Felicity, you let him drink.” John grumbled under his breath and Felicity looked at him apologetically. “He has heard a lot in a short amount of time, John. Maybe we should just let him be for a while. He can’t do much wrong here and he doesn’t know the code to go outside. I’ll watch him.”

“Are you sure? I’m supposed to check in with Mrs. Queen to let her know about her son’s situation. Are you going to be alright?” 

“Yeah, we’ll be fine.” Felicity answered as she noticed Oliver crying silently, the tears streaming down his cheeks. “We have to be.” She whispered not for anyone to hear, and John nodded, making his way out of the Foundry.   
Very slowly she went towards Oliver and sat down next to him.

“You’ll be okay.” She whispered now to him and she wrapped an arm around Oliver, holding him close. He did not comment on it, nor did he touch her, until about five minutes later, when he turned so that he could bury his face in her shoulder.  
His sobs increased until they faded away slowly.

“I’m sorry for your loss, Oliver, I truly am.” Felicity said over and over again, her hands ghosting over his shirt-clad back, in hoping what he find comforting gestures. This Oliver was not good at hiding his emotions.  
That he was drunk probably didn’t help.

When Oliver didn’t respond anymore, she looked at him and saw that he had fallen asleep on her. She eased him off and tried to lay him comfortable on the ground, propping a jacket under his head as he slept.   
It was only a short while later that he trashed in his sleep and woke with a start. 

“Felicity!” He gasped as he sat up, not caring about his headache this time.   
At the tone in his voice Felicity immediately looked up. With the ease of long practice he got up and strode towards her, wrapping her in his arms in an awkward position, seeing as she was in her chair and he stood. He lifted her easily however continued their embrace.

“What happened?” Felicity tried to ask, her voice muffled as he was almost suffocating her with the strength of his embrace.  
“I…” He began as he pulled back a little. “I think they were memories. Something of the island. A woman, I… I don’t know her name. I watched her die…” His voice wavered at that and he blinked a couple of times, trying to relive the memory, but it wouldn’t come back to him.

“She turned into you. I thought it was you.”

“Oh.” Felicity nodded. “I’m fine, as you can see.”

He wrapped her into his embrace again. “Thank you.” His words sounded sincere and earnest, but Felicity didn’t know how to respond.

“I do remember something more. About the island, about me…” Oliver frowned as he looked around the basement. “It’s important to me, this building, in more ways than one. There is more, isn’t it? More than the island and everything else… the fighting, the…” He shook his head and pulled back from the embrace.

“I’m going for a walk.” He informed Felicity, but she immediately took the few steps necessary to step in front of him and laid her hands on his chest. “No, you can’t. Not yet, not until your memories come back. It’s too dangerous.”

“I’m the one who’s dangerous. I don’t think I have to worry.” Oliver wanted to sidestep her, but Felicity didn’t give up and did the same. 

“This is the way you clear your head when you need it. You work out. Please… humour me. It would be fun to watch.” She almost slapped her forehead at how she made that last sentence sound and despite how low he felt, Oliver smiled.

“You like to watch me work out?” He asked and rolled her eyes at him.

“Because you’re oh-so-good-looking, Queen. I’m betting much better than when you were twenty too.” She added with a smirk before she went back to her computers, leaving him in stunned silence. “Work out clothes are over there.” She pointed without looking.

The small pile of clothes didn’t lay at its usual place, since Oliver would have to pass his green suit for that. He pulled out a pair of sweatpants and frowned when he didn’t find a shirt. He didn’t want to work out in one of his regular shirts and he sighed as he walked back to Felicity.

“There aren’t any shirts.” 

Felicity looked back at him and she frowned too for a moment. 

“I ehm… you never wear them when you work out.” She then said and he could swear there was a light blush on her cheeks again. 

“I… I don’t hide them?” Oliver sounded disbelieving as he looked at the shirt he was now wearing.

Felicity needed a few seconds to understand what Oliver meant, but then she shrugged.   
“You do, in public, but not here. You don’t need to here.” She said the words very slow, so that he could grasp their full meaning.

“Am I proud of them?” Oliver asked again, so badly wanting to understand where he was coming from, how he had turned out after his time on the island. How long had it been, what had he gone through, how had he changed?

“You don’t talk about them, Oliver, and you don’t need to. We never ask. But if you want my opinion, I don’t think you’re proud of them, nor ashamed. They are a statement of what you’ve been through. There is no need to feel shame in that.”

“I guess not.” Oliver sighed again, as her answer had gotten him no further. He shrugged too, if he couldn’t wear a shirt, then he wouldn’t. He figured Felicity wouldn’t mind, since she never had commented on him before, or he would have worn a shirt by now.

The tequila had not worn off completely, and he hadn’t taken all that much. He guessed he wasn’t used to alcohol anymore. He disappeared for a moment into a door to his right, where he found a sort of dressing room with a shower, where he noted some weird kind of green paint. He noted that he should ask Felicity about her make-up, before he re-entered the foundry in his sweatpants.  
Feeling a little strange he walked to the training dummy and looked at it for a few seconds, before he landed his first hit.

Felicity had not turned around from her computer screens until Oliver was in full concentration.   
His hits came more rapidly and more powerful every time he struck the dummy. He broke out in a sweat as he gave the dummy one last slap.  
He did not look at Felicity, but went on to the salmon ladder which he looked at as well. He took an easy jump to the steel rod and hung on as he adjusted his balance.

It was not long before she heard the clang of steel against steel and Felicity smiled. Oliver would be alright. If his body remembered, then his mind would as well.   
When the clang-noise subsided, she quickly turned back to her computer screens, but she could feel his presence at her back.

“You really do like to look at me.” Oliver grinned as he gently grasped her shoulder. Felicity jumped and turned around, facing a very closeby Oliver.

“I’ve said that before, didn’t I? Well, it’s not that I don’t like to look at you, but this is professional and we… I…” Lost for words with this new kind of Oliver, she sighed and turned around again.

“What are you doing with those?” Oliver’s attention was captured by the screens.

“Tracing some money changing… It’s an assignment I got from you, I’ll explain you later. You just go… go back working out or something.”

Suddenly he was very close, whispering in her ear.

“Do you really want me to… go back working out or something?”   
She screwed her eyes shut, didn’t dare to think of what he was implying.

“Yes! Please!” She muttered and he left her. Soon she could hear the clanging again and only then did she release a breath.  
These were going to be a few long days.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver wants to go out. Felicity gives in, but has to get ready first.

Oliver was seriously trying to not think about his situation. He already had some flashes about his past, the one he couldn’t remember.   
He understood that he had been through a lot, but in his mind he had not gone to a remote island, had not lost his father… He frowned when he thought about his father and let himself drop to the floor, work out over.

“Can we go out?” He asked as he turned around towards Felicity. She had been constantly working on the computers before her and he was quite sure that she was some kind of computer genius, but he didn’t dare to ask what she was doing.  
He had had enough for now.

“I… I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Felicity tried to be gentle about it, and was constantly looking at the door. 

“Are you waiting for someone?” It dawned on Oliver that Felicity might have someone waiting for her at home, that she had a boyfriend. He mentally slapped himself for taking up so much of her time, but he wasn’t entirely sorry. “You can go, if you’re boyfriend is waiting for you, I can take care of myself.”

“I don’t have a boyfriend.” Felicity quickly replied as she shut down most of her systems. When her phone made a sound she checked it and sighed. John wasn’t coming back to the foundry since Oliver’s mother had asked him to stay in the mansion for the night. Apparently he had convinced her that Oliver was alright, but Felicity would have liked it if there was someone else beside her to deal with this strange Oliver.  
Suddenly, she stood.

“You’re right, we should have some fun. I haven’t been out in ages.” She frowned then. “I don’t know where the hotspots are these days. Verdant is one, but I don’t want to go out here, I’d rather go somewhere outside Starling City.”

Oliver smiled. “You’re looking at the going out master… or maybe former… but that doesn’t matter, I think I can still pull a few strings. I do go out once in a while still, right, maybe not like before…”

“Definitely not like before.” Felicity halfway smiled herself. “From what you’ve told me you show up here and there.” 

“Okay, that means that my cellphone…” He searched it before retrieving it from the nearby table. “Aha!” He smiled again before turning around, phone to his ear. Within five minutes he had arranged entrance to one of the best clubs in the vicinity of Starling City. 

“The Arena, supposed to be one of the hottest clubs around. What do you think, do you want to check it out?” He looked over his phone screen towards Felicity.

“It’s a date! I don’t mean an actual date, but it’s okay… I mean… Let’s just go before I embarrass myself even further.” She sighed. 

“Could we pick up some of my clothes? You’re not going to let me go any time soon, I’m guessing.” He muttered and Felicity felt bad that Oliver couldn’t go where he wanted. She had been on her way to the door, but now stopped and laid a hand on Oliver’s arm.  
“I’m sorry. I can’t even begin to understand what you’ve been through and what you are going through right now. You can stay at the mansion if you want.”

“No, I want to stay with you. You don’t ask questions and you don’t mind if I flirt with you. Plus, you’re beautiful and smart, that’s a bonus.” Oliver smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes and Felicity knew that he was trying to make the best of the situation.

“I’ll ask John if he drops a few things off for you. And I’ll tell him that we’re going out so that he can join us if he wants to. Go, shower.” She nodded in the direction of the dressing room at the back of the foundry.

“You still don’t want to come with me?” Oliver asked as he hopped backwards. “Too bad.” He winked before he turned around and jogged to the dressing room, shutting the door behind him. Felicity turned to her computes one more time before phoning John and telling him about their plans for the night.  
He wasn’t all that happy.

“I have Oliver with me, we’ll be fine. You have seen him fight. Yes, we will be careful and I won’t tell him yet.”

“Won’t tell me what yet?” 

Oliver stood in front of her, his hair still wet from the shower, a towel in his hand. He had pulled on his jeans again, but was barefoot and his shirt was slung over his shoulder. Felicity didn’t know what to say for a few seconds and then she heard John’s voice in her ear. 

“If you’re in the newspaper tomorrow I’m not coming to save your ass!” And then the phone clicked and John was gone.

“He’s bringing the clothes over tonight.” Felicity tried to keep her tone light, but Oliver sensed that something was wrong. He opened his mouth to ask what was off, but then he contemplated the consequences. If she answered his questions, they wouldn’t go out and he wouldn’t have fun.   
And gods, he just wanted to have some fun and dance with a beautiful woman, that wasn’t too much to ask. 

“No more questions or answers tonight.” Oliver shook his head. 

“Just fun.” Felicity stated with a firm nod as Oliver pulled the shirt over his head. 

When they arrived at Felicity’s apartment a package already was delivered to her door. She recognised John’s handwriting and picked it up before even opening her door. Then she handed it over to Oliver.

“Clothes.” She muttered. She had been thinking about her outfit on the ride home, which had been one of silence.

“Thanks.” Oliver replied softly as he opened the package, finding a few more shirts in it, as well as a card from the dry cleaner’s where they could have a few suits picked up. When he flipped the cared over he found a clear message from John.  
“You hurt her, you die!”

“Okay, that’s understood.” He murmured as he called to the dry cleaner’s to get his suits. He remembered that those people had always been in service of the Queens and they wouldn’t blab about his whereabouts.   
He couldn’t find Felicity, but when he found the bedroom door shut he found it better just to stay in the living room.

When his suits arrived and the door still hadn’t opened, he dared to knock. 

“Felicity, are you alright?” He listened, but only could hear her breathing.

“Felicity…” He began again, but then the door opened.

“I don’t know what to wear, alright?” She grumbled at him as she strode to the other side of the small apartment, into the bathroom.

“Are you serious? You’d look beautiful in anything you wear, even if it were your probably overly cute pj’s.” He said loud enough for her to hear in the bathroom. She poked her head around the door again.

“Not funny!” 

“This was supposed to be fun, Felicity…” He sighed as he sat down on the couch. And there she went again, from the bathroom to her bedroom. Without thinking about it she ran her hand through his hair so that he would look up.

“I really just did that, didn’t I?” 

She had stopped midstride as Oliver caught her hand and pressed a kiss to it.

“I don’t mind. What did you want to say?” He asked, making her blush. 

“That stressing about getting ready and not knowing what to wear is part of the fun. The bathroom is yours if you want, I’ll get dressed in the bedroom.”  
He hadn’t let go of her hand until then. Felicity didn’t say anything about it, but just quickly made her way into her bedroom where she closed the door behind her.  
She didn’t know how much Oliver remembered from his former life, but his affection for her had been magnified and she liked it, too much perhaps.

Oliver had gone to the bathroom, hanging up his suit before hopping under the shower. He had enjoyed Felicity’s reaction to him, and he smiled when he thought about her blushing as he kissed her hand.

The night was going to be fun and for the first time since he remembered, he was thinking beyond the next night… he could go home with Felicity and stay. And he would stay, he vowed to himself.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver and Felicity go out to forget about their situation for just one night. It gets a little more complicated than it is supposed to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like this next chapter, a bit of awkwardness, a bit of Oliver being the gentleman and just a hint at Olicity. Thank you very much for all the appreciation in the form of kudos and comments, it's always a blast when someone likes your story.

He stood in the middle of the living room waiting for Felicity. Oliver was nervous, although he could not tell why. He adjusted his shirt for about the fifth time, not accustomed to wearing long sleeves, but knowing that he should if he wanted to cover up his scars.  
Oliver understood this was the best way to deal with it, so that the people he did not care about could not see them.

When Felicity came out of her room she was a vision in his eyes. Her black dress fitted her perfectly, hugging every one of her curves, the length of her skirt just above the knee. Her lips were painted a fiery red, her blonde hair curled elegantly around her face.

Oliver had been stunned into silence. Felicity smiled at how he looked at her, it made her feel beautiful.  
It did not take him long to come over his shock and he stepped forward, tucking a wayward strand of hair behind her ear.

“You look absolutely amazing.” He said in a low whisper and on an impulse she laid a hand against his smooth cheek.

“You look very handsome yourself.” 

He did not move to kiss her, but she wouldn’t have minded it one bit, not at that point. They stayed close to each other, as he turned his head slightly in her hand, eventually kissing it and stepping back.

“We were going to have fun, weren’t we? Come.” 

Oliver was every bit the gentleman, opening doors for her until they were at the front of the building, out on the street and next to her Mini Cooper.

“Do you mind if we take other transportation tonight?”

“Oh, suddenly my car isn’t good enough for you anymore, is it Mr. Queen? It probably only is when you are badly hurt and need my help.” Felicity muttered, but loud enough so that Oliver could hear it.

“When was I badly hurt in your car?” He frowned as he tried to recall the occasion, but failed miserably. He got frustrated with his own inability to remember, but Felicity would not let him think about it longer.

“I’m sorry, not tonight… we were going to have fun and I shouldn’t have said anything. Tomorrow is time for forgotten memories, and pain and everything else unpleasant. Not tonight, right?” She smiled and reluctantly he nodded. This had been his idea after all.

He gestured towards a limousine which had been parked nearby and Felicity shook her head.

“When did you do that?” She asked as Oliver smiled at her and gestured to the driver to remain seated. He opened the car door for her and let Felicity get in. He followed her in for the drive out of town.

“You are spoiling me, Mr Queen.” She added with a look around the limousine and he shrugged.

“From what I gather, you’re doing much more than just your job when it comes to helping me. I wanted to do something back.”

He had no idea yet just how much she did for him, but she was glad that he recognised her efforts.

“Thank you, but it I don’t need repayment. Well, I will need my salary of course, but for the rest… I’m your friend and that’s what friends do, right?”

“Most of the friends I used to know didn’t.” Oliver’s smile was just the corner’s of his mouth lifting and Felicity could tell that one of his darker moods had come up. Without thinking she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him close.

“You have better friends now.” She simply stated and Oliver had to smile at that.

They felt the car stop and the driver stepped out to open the door for the both of them. As they too stepped out, the row of people in the waiting line were watching them as if the newest celebrity couple had just walked the red carpet. Felicity suddenly felt self conscious and stared at the ground, before Oliver tucked her hand under his arm.

“There is nothing to be scared about, you look more beautiful than all the woman here and you’re a genius. Oh, and the guy you’re with is rich.” He added with a snicker as Felicity glared at him.

“I thought that… that there wouldn’t be so much to do about this club anymore. Everybody is staring and those women want to kill me just for standing here with you. Is it always like this for your girlfriends?”

“I guess that most of them wouldn’t mind being here… you’re different, but you knew that already… come on, let’s get you inside.” 

He kissed her cheek just as the flashes of the photographers went off and she slapped him lightly with her purse, which of course did nothing to better their situation. Oliver grinned at her and she realised that they had just given the paparazzi what they wanted, a good show.

“Now, let them figure out what we were arguing about and we’ll have the night to ourselves.” He said as he escorted her into the club.

“They are so going to put that picture in the gossip papers, aren’t they? Why did you do that? And why did you let me slap you, you knew they were waiting for that!” Just for good measure, she slapped him again on the arm and he reacted by taking her hand firmly in his.

“I wanted to.” He turned to her as they were in the lobby of the club. “And since you said that we do not go out together and you’re only my co-worker, they will not have another photo with us together on it any time soon and they will forget you exist. They always do. Don’t worry about it.”

Felicity frowned but hoped that he was right. Oliver had lived his whole life in the spotlight and she knew nothing of it. Of course she would be portrayed as his next arm candy, but she didn’t mind that… they would not find her out so easily, unless people at Queen Consolidated would begin to talk.

“Oh God, they’ll think I’ve slept with my boss.” She groaned as they walked into the club.

“Would that be so bad?” Oliver whispered in her ear above the music, making her blush. 

She liked this Oliver, the Oliver without the horrors of the island, the Oliver who did not share the memories of the other, who was not a green vigilante. But she missed the other as well, with all his faults and his demons.   
Even with all that baggage, she would want Oliver back.

Oliver escorted her to the bar and let her order. He did not drink any alcohol, saying that the tequila from before had already done enough damage. It had not been that much, but he felt that he was not used to drinking anymore, and he did not want tonight to end on a bad note.

“Well, are we going to dance or what?” Felicity asked as she stood from her barstool, hopping a bit to the beat of the music.

The club was a full house, an uptempo song having everyone in high spirits as they jumped up and down on the dancefloor. Normally Oliver did not want to be caught dead on a dance floor, but he had quietly promised himself to make this Felicity’s night out, so he agreed.  
They went onto the dancefloor and the song slowed down into another.

“I can’t dance!” Oliver called out to Felicity over the beat and she just smiled, and came closer, wrapping her hands around his neck. Obviously she was just a little drunk, because there was no way she would do this in her sober state, but she figured that what the hell, according to the world she was already sleeping with him.

“Just… follow my lead.” She said loud enough close to her ear.  
His hands found her hips as they swayed together, at times totally off beat which made them laugh together.  
The main thing to the both of them was that they were having fun. 

A man bumped into Felicity quite hard, making her fall against Oliver. Without thinking his hand shot out, firmly wrapping his fingers around the other’s shoulder as he did so. The man looked back.

“You knocked the lady over, I would like it if you apologise.” Oliver gritted out between his teeth.

“Oliver, that isn’t necessary…” Felicity began, but the man already held his hands up and bowed slightly to Felicity in a small but meaningful apology.

“Didn’t mean anything by it, man, take it easy.” He said to Oliver before going on his way. Felicity tried to get Oliver’s attention again and laid both hands on his cheeks, making him look at her.

“Oliver, I’m okay. The guy didn’t mean anything bad by it…” 

He cast his eyes down in defeat.

“I’m sorry, I’m no fun at all… I just… when he almost knocked you over I…”

“You’re my kind of fun.” Felicity smiled and without thinking, she softly pressed her lips to his, for just a second.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night out didn't go according to plan and on top of that Felicity gets attacked. Oliver is the night in not so shining armour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, thanks for the kudos and comments, I value each and every one of them. I hope you like this next chapter!

Oliver was stunned into silence as he touched his fingers to his lips. For all of his bravery and flirting he had done, he was not sure how to handle this.   
He wanted Felicity, how he wanted her…  
But there must have been a reason why he had not pursued her in the first place. He had changed a lot in the past years, Felicity had told him.

When it took him too long to move, Felicity took his hand and drew him off the dancefloor, in the direction of the bar. 

“Too much?” She asked as she demanded his attention, making sure that he was alright. Oliver just nodded as he held onto her hand, squeezing lightly. They sat in silence together for quite some time, just holding hands.  
Then Felicity smiled, leaning into Oliver so he could hear her.

“This is fun too, just… being.” 

Oliver nodded again, cursing himself for being like this, but not being able to help it. He was used to being carefree, but there was a loud undertone in his mind telling him that this was not the way he should behave.   
Having fun was not for him, not anymore.

“Oliver, do you want to go home?” Felicity asked after quite a while and again he nodded. He felt awful, wanting to spend a nice evening with Felicity and ending up fucking it all up. Oliver stood from his stool, helped Felicity off hers, and hugged her close.  
Even without any words passing between them, she seemed to understand, just took his hand and led him to the exit, where again a bunch of photographers took their picture.  
Oliver did not look at any of them.

Only when the doors of the limousine were firmly shut behind them, did he come alive again. They looked at each other and without another word he embraced her again, just wanting to feel someone close to him. 

“Do you hug a lot, Oliver?” Felicity asked softly and Oliver frowned, not knowing what she meant. 

“I’m sorry, should I not do this?” 

He had lifted his head, but Felicity quickly hugged him a little tighter.

“No, I just.. you’re a very tactile person, Oliver. Even when you’re… you, you touch people a lot. But you’ve never hugged me before.”

And again Oliver’s instinct kicked in. There was a reason why he had not gotten this close to Felicity before, but he could not remember why. It left him frustrated at his own lack of memory.

“There is more to me, isn’t there? More than that island, I mean. There is something that you haven’t told me yet.” Oliver mumbled into the crook of Felicity’s neck.  
Felicity had to nod.

“You’re right, a lot more. You’re a stubborn, strong, beautiful person, Oliver.” Felicity sighed as she continued to hold him.

“I would really like to believe you, Felicity.” Oliver sighed. Too much had happened for him to believe her, although he could not remember. As his frustration got the better of him, his fingers dug into Felicity’s shoulders. She hissed slightly at the pain and immediately Oliver let her go, settling on the other side of the limousine, staring at the window and not glancing back at her.

They stopped her apartment building and Oliver got out, waiting for Felicity to help her, but not touching her more than necessary. 

“I should go.” He said as she turned to enter the building.

“Oliver…” 

“Maybe I can go back to Verdant, if that is my club. Isn’t there a place where I can spend the night? Or perhaps I could go back home, to the mansion. I am sorry that just having fun didn’t work out, Felicity. I guess that isn’t me anymore.” His wry smile hid the hurt in his eyes.

Felicity was trying to think fast. Oliver wasn’t ready yet for him to know about his nighttime activities, but he was sensing something. She hoped to trigger a memory, but she couldn’t figure out how and that irritated her to no end.

“Don’t beat yourself up about this, Felicity, you can’t help it.” Oliver wanted to touch her arm, but he refrained from doing so and stepped back. 

“Bye.” He held up his hand for a second before turning away from Felicity.

Felicity sighed deeply and closed her eyes. She had to follow Oliver, she didn’t have any choice. They were not far from the Glades and although he remembered how he could fight, but he still had no idea who he was.   
If something happened to him, she would never forgive herself.

“Oliver, wait!” Felicity called out, but he had already vanished. Damn his good physique and speed! She had her heels on and couldn’t exactly hightail out of the street. She was contemplating on taking her car, but when she turned around to go inside and quickly fetch her car keys, she bumped into someone.

“Excuse me.” She muttered, her mind on the task at hand, wanting to pass the person she had only seen in a glimpse, but than a hand went over her mouth and a rough voice whispered in her ear to stay quiet.

“You’re one of Queen’s chicks, aren’t you? Well, he is going to pay good money for your safety.” 

Felicity really couldn’t tell if she had heard the voice before, and she cursed herself for not thinking about her self defence. She did the only thing she could think of and bit him hard in the hand.

“Bitch!” The man cursed and he hit her hard, throwing her to the concrete with the force. 

Felicity was unconscious for just a second when she hit the pavement, and when she managed to look up she saw a shadow hitting the man hard with a well-practiced karate kick. The man went sailing into the wall behind him, hitting it with a brute force and falling to the ground. 

Felicity tried to crawl upright and felt her jaw. That would probably be a bruise in the morning, she winced at the pain. Only then did she notice the hand on her arm helping her up to stand on unsteady feet.

“Hey, are you okay?” Oliver’s voice was soft as he in the mean time glared at her assailant, who remained unmoving on the ground.

“No, not really…” Felicity touched her cheek and hissed in pain. 

“Let’s get you inside… what were you trying to do anyway?” Oliver had the audacity to let his voice sound a little angry and Felicity glared at him.

“I was trying to find a way to follow you so that you wouldn’t get in trouble. And because that… that guy thought I was one of “Queen’s chicks”,” She emphasized the last two words with air gestures, “he thought that you would pay good money for me! So it’s all your damn fault!” 

She knew that she was being unfair to Oliver, who had been there to rescue her, but right now all she could think of was the splitting head ache she was going to have from the hard punch she had received.

“I’m sorry.” Oliver grumbled shortly, but he proceeded to guide Felicity to her apartment building.   
When the man behind them stirred, Oliver made Felicity sit on the steps and told her not to watch, which she of course refused, and went to the man again, hitting him hard over the head.

“Oliver, don’t! You don’t have to kill him!” Felicity almost shouted, her voice loud. Oliver looked up to her with a puzzled expression on his face.

“I wasn’t planning on killing him, I just wanted him quiet so I could call the police and he wouldn’t run out on me.” He explained as he returned to her, but when he saw her face he knew that she had been genuinely afraid that he would kill her attacker.

“You thought I was going to kill him.” He stated and she had to nod.

“I have killed before, haven’t I?” Oliver asked as he bent down low enough so that he could look into her eyes.

Again Felicity had to nod and she could feel Oliver mentally pulling away from her. Quickly she laid a hand on his arm, commanding him to stay present.

“That doesn’t make you a bad person.” Felicity clearly stated.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver makes Felicity feel better and they share a few kisses... and a bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the kudos, I love every single one of them :). I hope you like this new chapter as well!

Oliver hadn’t answered Felicity, but his lips formed a grim line as he helped her up the stairs. He had pulled out his cellphone only when they were in Felicity’s apartment, calling the police to warn about an attack.  
They were both quite sure that the man had already disappeared.

“Here, sit.” Oliver commanded in a soft tone as he lifted his fingers to Felicity’s chin, inspecting her cheek, which was already a bit swollen. His face hardened even more as he saw just what that man had done to her. 

“Don’t.” Felicity said the word while Oliver held her chin between his fingers and was unable to look at him, but Oliver knew what she meant.

“He went after you because you were one of my ‘chicks’.” He said the word in the same manner she had used just minutes ago. “I was wondering why I kept you at a distance before my memory was lost, but now I understand. You’re in danger when you’re around me.” 

Felicity was for this one time quicker than he was, grabbing his wrist and looking him straight in the eyes.

“As I have told you quite a few times, my life… my choice.” 

And then she kissed him again, like she did on the dancefloor. Oliver wanted to pull back, like he would do when he remembered, but right now he did not. She did not let him, wrapping her arms around his neck.  
It took him a minute longer to catch on, but he kissed her back.

Somewhere in the back of her mind Felicity’s sane voice was telling her this was a bad idea. She firmly pushed it down, letting her tongue plunder Oliver’s mouth, who did not seem to fully realise what was going on. He caught on quickly though and they had to catch their breath.

“You wouldn’t let me get rid of you… is that it?” Oliver breathed deeply, before his lips brushed over hers again.

“You were the one asking me for help, I stuck around and I’m not going anywhere.” Felicity smiled as she leaned into him, sighing softly as Oliver’s arms wrapped around her. He pressed a kiss to her forehead and held her.

“I’m going to get you an icepak, before your jaw gets worse. Your choice or not, I’m not going to leave you hurting.” 

“Okay.” Felicity now answered, pointing him to the freezer where he could find an icepack. He quickly retrieved it and wrapped it in a towel, pressing it against her cheek and holding her hand to it, placing his hand over hers.

They sat in silence together, Felicity not daring to lift her hand away from the pack, afraid that whatever peace Oliver had made with himself would shatter. She could not believe that she had just went ahead and kissed him, but that seemed to be the only way to get Oliver out of his guilt trip. 

Finally she had to lift her hand with the pack away from her jaw. Oliver let his hand drop to his knee, sitting across from her on her coffee table. They had not spoken at all, but when Felicity stood and walked to her bedroom, she just looked back and let Oliver make his own decision.

He had not thought about going away again, every fibre of his being wanted to protect this fierce girl. Olvier wanted to love her. His heart skipped a beat when he realised that, that he, who knew nothing about his current life, could love a girl he had just met.

Felicity had gone through to her bedroom, leaving the door open. The choice was entirely up to him. They had slept in the same bed just a night ago, but Oliver knew that this invitation was different.   
From what he remembered from being himself, he would jump at the chance for this, but Felicity was different, she should be treated like she deserved.

Oliver stood and slowly walked into the bedroom, closing the door behind him. Felicity had undressed and slid between the covers. Oliver unbuttoned his shirt, noticing how Felicity looked at him as he did. A smile tugged at his lips as he pulled it off his shoulders and slid between the covers as well.

Immediately Felicity scooted closer and into Oliver’s arms. She laid a hand over his heart, feeling the strong beat. 

“And here I was supposed to take care of you.” She murmured slowly. Oliver looked down at the woman in his arms and kissed her forehead. “I kind of have the feeling that we take care of each other.” He answered to which she looked up and smiled.

“Yeah.”

She leaned up and placed her lips to his. Oliver couldn’t help himself and responded, wrapping his arms about her more securely, enjoying the feeling of having her close, safe, and to himself. He wondered just how selfish he had become.  
Putting that thought into his head made him pull back and Felicity frowned.

“Nonono… don’t make that face.”

“What face?” He asked.

“It’s you’re ‘I’m going to say something serious and you’re not going to like it’ face, like when you’re in…” She sighed as she couldn’t continue, that was pre-memory-loss material and Oliver couldn’t remember yet. 

“I’m sorry.” Oliver began and Felicity tried to shake her head, but it hurt a little too much. Tears threatened in her eyes and Oliver sighed as well, this was far too difficult to his liking. This was why he didn’t hang around women for too long, trouble always followed them.   
Shit, he sounded like an asshole, even to himself.

“I thought this would make it easier for you to be with me, not having all of these memories. But it’s making it even more difficult.”

Felicity wanted to turn away from Oliver, but he did not allow it.

“Would you be happier if I stay like this, the Oliver who doesn’t share a memory with the one you knew?” Oliver whispered earnestly. He had thought about it, not to even try and get his memory back, because from what he had heard about himself, he did not have it easy now. 

Felicity didn’t dare to look Oliver in the eyes, so instead of pulling away again, she snuggled into his chest and sighed. 

“No, of course not. You’re you, with every bit of baggage that comes along with you. I just kind of hoped that… I shouldn’t have, I’m sorry. It makes you look shallow that you would now fall for a girl you didn’t fall for earlier… Stupid me.” 

“Hey now, I am shallow! And stupid too, from the looks of it!” Oliver sniggered as he wrapped his arms around Felicity more securely. “But if we… if we sleep together now, we might regret it later on. God, I can’t believe I’m actually saying this!” He rolled his eyes at himself.

“So, you actually want to be with me?” Felicity smiled up at him and began to laugh when she saw the face he pulled.

“Hell yeah! You’re gorgeous, Felicity. I didn’t even know you and I wanted to pick you up, I mean, how much more obvious can you get! But I want to be me, not just a part of me, because I’m sure that you’re important to me.”

“And what if you don’t want me anymore when you have your memory back?” Felicity looked up again.

“There isn’t a chance in hell that I’m going to pass up on you. I’m going to kick my own ass if I have to.” Oliver smiled, which made Felicity shake her head.

“Then I guess we should better get some sleep… If you want to be a whole Oliver, we better get to work tomorrow. It’s going to be a long day.”

“I’ll bet.” Oliver answered, but this time he wasn’t happy about it. He dreaded the day that was to come and the secrets revealed. As much as he wanted to make Felicity see him for who he was, he did not know if he was ready to be himself again.

For some reason, there was something important going on in his new life, which he hadn’t shared with many people. It made him wonder.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Oliver wakes up relaxed, Felicity is not sure whether to tell him... but in the end she decides Oliver has to know about the Arrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry about the long wait, you guys, here's a new chapter... finally!

Oliver slept easily, but it took a long time before Felicity managed to close her eyes. Oliver was so close to her now and so relaxed, that she could actually take the time to really look at him. It was a first.  
Okay, so she stole glances when he worked out… maybe more than just glances, but that didn’t count. Oliver had always been on edge ever since they had gotten to know each other, but now… She smiled as she heard him snore softly.  
Definitely relaxed.

Felicity had no idea when she had fallen asleep, but when she opened her eyes she laid snuggled close to Oliver, a hand on his chest. Unlike last time, she did not jump up to run straight to the door, apologising and rambling. She simply let it be and waited for Oliver to wake up as well.

“G’morning.” He mumbled about half an hour later, and she blinked up at him, smiling. 

“Hey.” She said back, and she blushed slightly when he lowered his hand over hers and squeezed gently.

“Did you sleep okay?” Oliver asked as he sat up a little, pulling her with him. She giggled a little, thinking of how they sounded like… like a couple really, but scooted up with him, her hand still on his chest, rubbing slow circles.

“You snore!” She finally laughed at Oliver’s face.

“I do not!” He grumbled lowly before hugged her a bit closer and experimented with his pressing his fingers alongside her hip, making her yelp in surprise.

“You’re ticklish… so you better watch out with what you say.” Oliver threatened, a bright smile of his own plastered on his face. Felicity wanted to react, but in the end she found it better to just let him be his old self, the one who enjoyed life. She wondered if the Oliver she had always known would stay in bed like this, or just jump out when he got the chance… or a call saying that he had to save the city.

“I will.” Felicity just answered quietly as she patted his chest a few times. Oliver had noticed Felicity growing quiet and he figured it out rapidly. He sighed softly and gathered her to him.

“You’re thinking of me, aren’t you? I mean, the one with the memories, the Oliver you know? He’ll come back, I’m sure of it. And I hope that he’ll still remember all you have done so that he can suck it up and finally asks you out, because you deserve it.”

Felicity looked up at Oliver and her smile turned sad. “Thank you. I knew that you have always been a nice guy, Oliver, although the stories tell otherwise.” Her fingers played over his chest, and they stopped at a particular scar on his shoulder.

“I don’t know about all of your scars, but I know about this one. That night I found out who you really were.” She began to say, but then she didn’t know how to continue. It peeked Oliver’s interest further and he waited her out.

“You had stopped by a few times already to ask me questions, so I knew that you were Oliver Queen, but then…” She took a deep breath, looking Oliver straight in the eyes. “You got shot and you showed up on the back seat of my car. Bleeding.”

Oliver jerked up.

“What? I got shot?” He looked at the scar, which could indeed have been from a bullet, and grazed his finger over it for a moment. It would probably not be the first time he got shot, because he had discovered numerous others over his entire body. But he had vowed to be patient as Felicity explained. 

“Yes… You, you don’t only work for Queen Consolidated, Oliver. You came back from that island with a purpose and nobody was going to be able to deny you that. You did it for your father.”

“My father?” Oliver frowned. 

Felicity sat up, this was going to be difficult at best. “I think it’s better if we don’t do this here and now. I’ll take you back to the Foundry and we’ll see from there. We’ll figure this out, Oliver.” She now squeezed his hand gently, but the frown remained.

She quickly got out of bed and dressed, even with Oliver in the room. It was like she didn’t really care that he was there, but her cheeks blushed when she finally turned around to face the bed again.

“I’m just going to go… bathroom.” She pointed before heading out, leaving Oliver to fend for himself. He was cursing under his breath, he had no idea what Felicity was saying, but it was important and he was going to find out. Today.   
She was not going to distract him again, he vowed.

Finding his jeans and shirt he hurriedly put them on and waited for Felicity to exit the bathroom. When she did, he picked up her keys and her bag, handed them over and crossed his arms.

“Foundry.” He did not exactly know the meaning of the word, but he figured it was the basement underneath the club. His club. 

“Oliver…” She wanted to stall, wanted to keep him relaxed for just a little bit longer. Happy. He had had so little of that since he returned that she could not deny him that. She berated herself silently, that decision was not up to her.”

“It’s not.” Oliver answered, telling Felicity that she had said that out loud. She gasped and then looked at her feet, taking the keys from Oliver and speeding towards the stairs. Oliver followed her.

He did not say another word until they arrived at the club. Felicity and Oliver walked to the basement together and without thinking he punched in the code to enter. Only when Felicity gasped did Oliver realise that he remembered the code.

“You remember!” She exclaimed, and promptly gave him a hug.  
“Yeah.” 

Oliver concentrated, but for the life of him, he couldn’t remember another damn thing from his old life. He growled in frustration, punching the door so it slid open. Diggle and Roy were waiting for Felicity and Oliver in the basement.

“Oliver, this is Roy… he’s your sister’s boyfriend.” Felicity announced. Oliver blinked a couple of times and Roy made sure he was on the far side of the table. He did not trust this Oliver and certainly not the way he was looking at him.

“Who there.” Diggle steppped in, so that Oliver couldn’t reach Roy. “You like him, Oliver, he helps out.”

Oliver looked Roy up and down, just huffed and then turned his back to the younger man. He crossed his arms and leaned against one of the desks which held the computers. Roy walked around him carefully so that he stood together with Diggle and Felicity. 

“You were going to tell me something.” Oliver stated.

They all looked at one another, like they had no clue how to start. They didn’t. Diggle was the first to move. He turned around to the table behind him. The last time Oliver was here, the bow and arrows had not been in their usual spot, so that he could not get sidetracked.   
Now, Diggle retrieved the bow and an arrow and held them out to Oliver.

Oliver looked puzzled.

“They’re yours. You can probably hit a fly in the next room with it.” Diggle said as Oliver took the pieces from him, looking at them. He weighed the bow in his hand and found it fitted perfectly.   
Without thinking he raised it, and a few seconds later the arrow flew through the air, planting itself in the far wall.  
Oliver gasped at the truth in Diggle’s words, staring at the bow. Together with what he knew he possessed of combat skills, he now turned even more dangerous than before.

Roy turned up in front of him, holding a leather green jacket.

“This isn’t something I would wear.” Oliver frowned.

“You do. A lot.” Roy shortly answered him as he held out the jacket. Oliver took it, but it didn’t spark a memory.

“Maybe we should let him… you know, the entire suit?” Felicity murmured to Diggle and the man nodded.

“Maybe you should just change into it, Oliver.” Diggle said as he walked to where a small bathroom had been installed. Oliver looked up from the jacket and looked to Felicity. She hoped that she gave him a reassuring smile as he walked after Diggle to the bathroom.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diggle confronts Oliver... Oliver is not sure if he wishes his memory to return.

From the moment Oliver closed the door behind him, Diggle was in his face, pressing him against the wall. It took a few seconds before it dawned on Oliver that he was being held, but then everything went by in a blur, Diggle being the one against the wall, with a seething Oliver pressing his arm against his throat.

“Don’t you ever do that again!” He hissed lowly as his eyes blazed, holding close to Diggle. Diggle held up his hands in defeat, a sign for Oliver to back down, which he did very slowly.

“You’re holding out on me, Oliver. I know that you don’t want to upset Felicity, or…” Diggle squinted his eyes a little, but Oliver’s face remained closed to him. “You remember more than you lead on.” Diggle then stated firmly.

Oliver wasn’t a very good liar, but his poker face remained intact. He did not even flinch at the words his bodyguard had spoken. 

“Yeah.” He just answered the unspoken question.

“Everything?” Diggle asked, but Oliver shook his head.

“Bits and pieces have been coming back since this morning. For some reason I remembered Roy, good thing too because otherwise I would have definitely hit him.” Oliver grumbled lowly but then he sighed.

“What you were going to show me, does it have something to do with…” There he paused, trying to think of the right thing to say. “With my night time activities. The ones that don’t go to the press?” 

“Yeah.” Diggle nodded.

Oliver pinched his lips together. He did not remember very much about that particular part of his life, but he knew that he was a badass archer and… something with his father. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it yet, it was waiting for him on the edge of his memory, but it wouldn’t come out. And if he was completely honest with himself, he did not want it to come out either.

“Don’t show me.” He uttered as he leaned his head against the wall, his hands resting against it as well. Diggle looked at him in confusion.

“Oliver… this is all you have worked for in the past years. You wanted to get rid of the scum in this city, so that you could honour your father. This is something you dragged us into, not the other way around!” Diggle’s voice had increased a little in volume, but mostly, his mouth was close to Oliver’s ear and he didn’t have to strain to hear him.

“I know… sort of.” Oliver answered as he clenched his fists. He then looked at Diggle.

“Maybe there is another way for me to go about this. Maybe I didn’t think it through at the time. That fucking island probably meddled with my brain…” Oliver went quiet for a moment and turned around so that he was facing Diggle. “You know I’m damaged goods, Dig, although I try my damn best to not show it.” He muttered.

“Yeah, I know that is your excuse.” Diggle didn’t let up on Oliver, still close to him. Oliver sensed danger about his bodyguard, but he didn’t remember exactly what the man had done before he had come into Oliver’s service.

“What?!” Oliver hissed again. He was getting very angry in a very short period of time. 

“Whenever someone comes to close, you flash that card, Oliver. Yeah, you came back from that island and survived more than we probably ever could think about, but that doesn’t mean your damaged goods! You’re way better than thousands of guys out there, and they still try to make it work.” Diggle pushed into Oliver’s shoulder, backing him against the wall again. Oliver tried to stay focused.

“It’s the truth.” Oliver clenched his teeth together, the words spat out at Diggle. He pushed off the wall, out of Diggle’s close range, as far as he could in the close space of the small bathroom. 

“What do you want then? You said yourself that you couldn’t take those men down as Oliver Queen, you had to become… him.” Diggle didn’t name the man Oliver had become, but Oliver remembered images, slivers of him putting an arrow in some nameless bad guy. Going for the shot, killing.

“I want to stop. I want out.” Oliver sighed.

“And let the list be what it was?” Diggle asked, entirely out of it at that moment. He had always thought that Oliver just had one priority in his life when he had returned from that island. Two, if you counted keeping the people closest to him safe.

“Yeah.” Oliver nodded. He had taken a look around the Foundry and found nothing that remotely spoke to him, except for the bow he had taken in his hand.

Diggle had taken a step back and frowned.

“Why?” He asked and Oliver shrugged, like it didn’t mean anything that he had just made this decision.

“I want a life, Dig. I don’t exactly remember what I promised to my father, not really, but it’s something major. I know that is why I have become this archer, someone who… kills people.” It left a bitter taste in Oliver’s mouth to speak the words. “I have become someone I don’t like. And I don’t know if I want to turn into that person again.”

Diggle nodded, there was nothing left to say. Oliver remembered some parts of his life, but like Diggle saw it, not the major events. Not the Arrow, not like he was supposed to. But Diggle didn’t want to push Oliver, not when he was in this state of mind. Oliver would figure it out on his own.

Oliver opened the door which separated the bathroom from the larger room in the Foundry, where Felicity was still waiting for him. Roy had gone up to the club area, and Oliver thought that would be the safer option. He couldn’t decide whether he liked his sister’s boyfriend or not, but there was something off about him.

“You didn’t change.” Felicity remarked as she turned from her screens, taking in Oliver’s regular shirt and jeans. “Not that you like bad the way you are, just in that leather… you look good. In leather. But in jeans too, you know I… shutting up.” She sighed as Oliver had to smile at her words.

“Hey Felicity…” He said softly as he held his hands to the chair, spinning her around to face him. He leaned in a little closer, but so that there was still a bit of distance between them. Felicity remembered the night before when they had been even closer together and flushed, ducking her head.

“Hey Oliver.” She responded.

“I want to ask you something and it’s really important to me.” Oliver began and it made Felicity look at him. Oliver was having difficulties articulating himself and silenced for a second, thinking of how to formulate things.

“I think you have… that you know the best who I am. Even now. Ehm…” He sighed as he stepped back from the chair. He put his hands on his hips and stared at the ground. Wow, and here he thought that he was good with words. Apparently that went out of the window too, together with a few of his memories.

“I remember some things.” He then spoke aloud and Felicity immediately stood by his side, smiling at his admission.

“Oliver, that’s great!” She almost leaned into him for a kiss, but refrained at the last moment and instead clapped him on the shoulder lightly. Oliver gently took her wrist and pulled her into a tight hug, hiding his face in the crook of her shoulder.

“I don’t think it’s great.” He murmured softly, close to her ear. She pulled back a little and kept him at arm’s length, looking earnestly at Oliver.

“Why do you say that? Of course, the island, those memories are not going to be good. But Oliver, there will be good memories too, you can’t just…” She began and he quickly laid a finger to her lips, so that she would stop speaking.

“I wanted to ask you if you would still have me if I… if I don’t have all of my memories back.” He finally managed to say.

Felicity’s eyes widened in what he had asked her. She wrapped her hand around his wrist to take his arm down, then resting her hand in his.

“You want to stay a twenty-year-old?” She asked him softly.

“I want a normal life, without that island, without everything surrounding it… but I don’t want to give you up, or Dig, or Roy for that matter. I want it all, Felicity… I… I need to know if I can have it.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity doesn't know the answer, Oliver doesn't either... and Diggle is getting a bit tired of handling the situation, but threatens Oliver anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for all the appreciation, it makes the effort of writing all the more worth while. So thank you again.

Felicity honestly didn’t know what to make of this. She just gawked at Oliver, mouth open wide, just waiting for a few seconds until he would say ‘just kidding’ and then left without another word.  
But there he remained, right in front of her, in that earnest manner of his, his eyes pleading for her to say something.

She figured he could stay silent for quite some time. 

“I… I…” Felicity began, startling a little when she heard a door in front of her, signalling the return of Diggle into the main room. She felt relieved for the temporary distraction and looked at her friend. His face had gone smooth, and she frowned at Diggle, hoping that he would give her some clue.

“I’ll let you think about it then.” Oliver smiled softly, but the sadness in him spoke volumes. Felicity almost walked up to him and pulled him into a hug… almost. She couldn’t help but long for the Oliver she knew in that moment, the Oliver who closed himself off from the world and didn’t seem to need any help. She pressed her lips together and begged Oliver for forgiveness in silence… there had been so many times when he probably needed someone to talk to and just didn’t.

“Where are you going?” Felicity dared to ask, fingers brushing Oliver’s sleeve, which was enough to keep him in place for a few seconds longer. Oliver looked up to her, the steely glance in his eyes seemingly a long forgotten feature, he could be read like a book. 

“Back to the mansion, to mum and Thea. I hope that they missed me.” He sighed and as he turned away from Felicity, she could hear him retreating from her. He had given her a chance to speak her mind and she hadn’t, too taken aback by the sudden change in him. She had thought that all he wanted was to get his old life back and here he had been, right in front of her, offering her the world, the one she wanted.

But…

“Oliver!” She shouted right before he punched in the code for the door.

He turned his head, keeping his fingers near the buttons. Felicity practically ran up the stairs, a confused Diggle standing at the bottom of them, waiting for an explanation. Felicity would give him one eventually, and probably tell him all that passed between her and Oliver in the days that followed his amnesia, but not right now.

She stopped right in front of Oliver, a hand on his arm to keep him from punching in the numbers and opening the door. Felicity gazed at Oliver and hoped that she was making the right decision, because it seemed to be all up to her.

“I want all of you.” She stated before blushing as the words hit her. He did not take her up on the pun and wrapped his arms around her tightly, pressing a kiss to her forehead, before letting her go.

“Then I’ll try to be what you want me to be.” Oliver answered her statement, quickly getting to the alarm code and opening the door. Diggle followed up the stairs and passed Felicity with a quizzical look in his eyes, but she gestured that she would talk to him later.  
“What did you tell her?” Diggle asked as he stepped into the car right next to Oliver. Diggle was driving and had to keep his mind on the road, but he was still busy trying to figure out this new Oliver.

“That I wanted out… I want a normal life. But…” Oliver rubbed his hands over his face, an annoyed sound coming from him before he looked out through the windshield again. “The problem is that I’m not myself at the moment and I don’t really know what… what Oliver wants. I only know what Ollie wants. And that guy seems to have died on that island.” Oliver sighed.

“So you asked Felicity to make the decision for you? Fuck Oliver, that’s a load to put on someone!” Diggle growled, but Oliver shook his head.

“You heard what she said.”

“That she wants all of you… yeah, I kind of got that.” Diggle grumbled now and it actually made Oliver laugh softly.

“Wow, you’re protective. She can hold her own, Dig.” Oliver smiled and just like that, Diggle looked at him like Oliver had just grown a second head.

“What?” Oliver asked.

“You’re the protective one out of the two of us, Oliver. You’re the one who always told Felicity to be safe, not to come on missions, not to… get involved. I want to keep her safe too, just so you know. But you would have never said something like this. Ever.”

“Because I’m not… I’m not that Oliver, alright!” Oliver practically shouted at Diggle. “It’s not because I remember certain things that everything just magically reappears. I remember that you were asked by my mother to protect, but I don’t know why. I have no clue when I met Felicity, just that she’s gorgeous and a computer tech wizard… and that I… twenty-year-old self living in a five year older body, desperately want to be with her.”

Diggle didn’t say anymore after that, just kept driving until they suddenly stopped right in front of the doors of the mansion. Oliver got out, not sparing a second glance towards Diggle, and walked into the large hallway, calling out.

“Ollie!” 

A young woman ran up to him and flung herself in his arms. Oliver frowned for a moment, wondering where the hell he had picked her up, when he noticed her features and smiled brightly.

“Thea? God, you’ve grown up.” He exclaimed as he hugged her tightly.

“Really Oliver?” Thea took a step back and let him look at her properly. “I guess you didn’t see me that well in the hospital.” She smiled before she punched him in the arm. “That’s for leaving the hospital without telling us!” She hissed.

“I’m sorry, sis.” Oliver sighed. There was absolutely nothing that he could do right these days. He wrapped his little sister in his arms, pulling her against his chest and raking his hand through her hair.

“It’s been a hell of a few days and I have no idea who I am anymore. My memory is all over the place… but I did recognise you.” With that Thea smiled up at him and hugged him a bit tighter as well.

“You’ll be fine once you’re living here again. Your old room is pretty much the same as you left it. Mum couldn’t throw away anything when you didn’t return and… I don’t think you altered anything when you got back.” Thea explained, taking Oliver’s hand and pulling him up the stairs to his room.

He could recognise the room vaguely. The bed was the same, even some of the posters on the wall were the same as he remembered. Wow, he had been quite shallow when he was this young, he thought to himself.

“Are you okay?” Thea asked him and he turned around to look at her, almost forgetting that she had been there.

“Yeah. I could go for a nap though. It was very early this morning.” Oliver smiled again, tiredly now, and Thea smiled back. 

“Mum said that you were with Mr. Diggle. Did he take you anywhere to stay for a few days then?” She asked, curious about what had happened to Oliver.

He walked up to his bed and pulled off his shirt, not caring about Thea seeing his scars, which was new for him as well. Thea remembered how he had hidden himself behind his sweaters, button up shirts, long sleeved T’s for months before she caught him by surprise in his own bedroom.

“Yeah, in a hotel. You know how much I hate hospitals.” Oliver stated softly and Thea nodded, that was true, Oliver had always hated hospitals, even as the teenager she remembered.

“You’ll be better off here. If there is anything I can do for you.” Thea offered, but she was met with an almost sleeping Oliver.   
Thea frowned, the Oliver who came back from the island almost didn’t sleep, but she felt relieved that her brother was doing quite well.

“I’ll be fine… Thanks, Speedy.” Oliver grinned and Thea laughed, too happy that the Oliver she loved so much had returned.

She almost hoped that he would not regain his memory, so that he could remain her fun loving brother forever.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver learns what had happened to him to cause him to loose his memory and it is not what he expected. Plus side, there might be a remedy, downside... it's going to be difficult.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was an incredibly long wait and I'm very sorry, but I hope to be able to continue this fic. I hope you enjoy this next chapter.

Oliver was awake the second he heard a small noise right inside of his window. He had always been a light sleeper and even through his teenage years he didn’t need a lot of hours of sleep. He had spent a lot of them in a bed of course, like every other teenager.  
Immediately he tensed and when a shadow easily jumped from the window sill on the ground, without barely leaving a sound as their feet landed on the ground.

He wanted to jump out of bed, but the person in the room had an incredibly keen eye, or night goggles, because they had seen the light movement beneath the blankets.

“Nono, Mr. Queen, we can’t have that.” A low murmur reached his ears as the person suddenly stood right next to him. Oliver knew of himself that he was fast, very fast even, but he had no idea how he could get himself out of this one.   
In a split second he decided to go for it and jumped out of bed while tossing the blankets blindly at his assailant.

He got as far as the door before his attacker was on him again, with a syringe with a clear liquid in a fist. 

“I heard word in the street that you are beginning to remember who you are… which means that the serum wears off quicker than I thought. We can’t have that now. You’re a test case, Mr. Queen and I want to make sure that your mind won’t get older again. I think fifteen or sixteen might be a good age for you.”

Oliver saw a flash of white teeth. He kicked, aimed for the legs and caught the shins. His attacked went down and Oliver scrabbled upright, searching for his phone while he tried to open the door at the same time. He quickly type in a message in for Felicity to came to his aid before the needle went into his skin.

“Oliver!” 

The pain of the needle prick didn’t go away, but as he looked up, the person who attacked him was gone too. Carefully Oliver pulled back the syringe and saw that it still held about half of the liquid inside of it. He heard knocking on the door and called out.

“I’m here! I’m okay!” 

“I heard crashes… what’s going on, Ollie?” It was his sister. He again told her that he was fine once Felicity was there, but he opened the door for Thea anyway. She immediately went to him, kneeling beside him and reaching out.

“What happened?” She asked and he shook his head.

“I thought I saw someone and I panicked, got as far as the door. I might have called Felicity, so if she comes here, can you send her up, please?” He asked as his vision started to blur a little. He just hoped that he would be able to hang on for as long as needed, until Felicity got there. 

“Are you sure? I could stay with you. And where is your bodyguard?” Thea asked and Oliver shrugged, not able to answer all of those questions right now. He heard the doorbell soon after and Thea went downstairs to open it, coming back up with Felicity, who had about the same reaction as Oliver’s sister. 

“What happened?” Felicity asked Thea, who snorted at seeing Oliver in exactly the same position.

“He said he was fine, but he always says that. He doesn’t tell me anything.” With that, Thea turned around and let Felicity deal with Oliver.

“You really shouldn’t do that, exclude your sister like that.” Felicity sighed as he wanted to help Oliver up. Oliver wrapped a hand around her wrist to pull Felicity closer and she gasped in surprise.

“Listen Felicity, we don’t have much time. I know what happened to me. Here.” He pressed the syringe in her hand. “I didn’t hit my head, I was injected with something. They didn’t have the chance to properly examine me in hospital so they overlooked it probably… this is what caused my amnesia. And they injected me again.”

“They, who is they, Oliver?” Felicity asked as she held on to him, but Oliver shook his head.

“I don’t know…” Talking became a little more difficult. “Try to find out what this is. I’m guessing they have bigger plans than drugging Oliver Queen.” 

“Maybe they know that you’re the Arrow.” Felicity tried but she didn’t get a response anymore. Oliver had gone out like a light. Quickly she typed in a couple of numbers, forming Diggle’s and hoped that he would answer.

“Dig? Help. Oliver.” Were the only words she needed to say before the man was on his way. About half an hour later Oliver was tucked in bed and still dead to the world. Felicity was trying to bring Diggle up to speed.

“So this wasn’t an accident? Someone injected him?” Diggle asked as he took the syringe carefully in his hand, looking at it.

“Yes, apparently that’s what caused the amnesia. I’m going to try and analyze it, see what substances are in it. I guess that the effects are temporary, otherwise they wouldn’t have come back to finish the job.”

“But why?” Diggle asked as he frowned.

“I have no idea.” Felicity sighed.

Oliver stirred slightly and both looked at him. He blinked a couple of times and then he smiled brightly at Felicity.

“Hey…” He murmured as he stretched. For one moment Felicity dared to hope that the injection hadn’t effected Oliver, but then he tugged at her hand.

“Are you my girlfriend? Because that would be… wow!” Oliver grinned and she rolled her eyes.   
“You’re a flirt, Oliver Queen… and yes, you’re mine, so don’t you try anything else with another girl, you hear?” Felicity threatened and Oliver paled somewhat before smiling again. He leaned back in the pillows.

“Life’s good.” He smirked.

“Yes.” Felicity just responded before looking at Diggle. “Stay here with him, I’m going to find out about that injection.”  
Oliver sat up immediately.

“Hey, why are you leaving me if you’re my girlfriend?” He asked and Felicity turned back towards him. 

“I’m not your girlfriend, not yet anyway… And we here are trying to save your ass. So be nice to Dig, he’s your friend.” Felicity told him before she went out of the room. Oliver couldn’t help but smile again at Diggle.

“She’s something, isn’t she?” He asked his bodyguard.

“She sure is, Oliver. You better not let her slip through your fingers this time.” Diggle answered as he sat himself next to Oliver on the bed, on top of the sheets, crossing his legs. “Now tell me kid, how old are you?” 

Oliver frowned, but he couldn’t think of an age. He felt weird and had no idea how things had worked out like this. Diggle had been telling him some small stuff and all in all he now knew that he was supposed to be a few years older than he felt. And that this happened to him before but that it got better. 

“What if anything happens to Felicity while she’s trying to analyze that stuff?” He asked Diggle before he tried to get out of bed. Diggle’s hands pushed him back just at the same time a wave of dizziness came over him and he dropped off back to bed again. 

Diggle called Felicity.

“I think it’s worse than before. He’s unconscious again. The dose might have been higher. He couldn’t tell me what age he was either.” 

“Keep an eye on him, Dig. I’m trying to find something as fast as I can. Maybe you could take him here when he’s conscious again. Might help him focus.” Felicity answered and while Diggle thought that wasn’t the best of ideas, he couldn’t think of anything better either. 

“Yeah okay, we’re coming to you as soon as he’s awake and feeling better… we have to speed things up, Felicity.” Diggle reacted before he put his phone down again. 

He looked over at Oliver and just hoped that they didn’t have to go through everything again.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver wakes up as himself, but there are consequences...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the long wait, again... inspiration is lacking at the moment. I managed something though and I hope you'll like it.

Oliver woke up with a start, sitting up straight and looking around. Diggle sat in a chair near the bed, nodding off. 

“Dig…” Oliver mumbled, almost not able to. His head felt like it was wrapped in cotton, his mouth was dry and he had no idea what had happened to him.   
Diggle looked up and smiled when he noticed that Oliver was awake.

“Hey Oliver, how are you feeling?”

Oliver shrugged. “I have no idea what I’m doing here but… okay, I guess. Did I hit my head or something?” 

Dig frowned as he came closer to the bed, watching how Oliver handled himself. This was not the Oliver with amnesia he had encountered in the last couple of days. 

“Oliver, is it you?” He asked slowly as he sat down on the edge of the bed, watching his friend. Oliver gave a small smile at the apprehension he felt from his bodyguard.

“Of course it’s me, Diggle, who else would I be?” 

Oliver tried to get out of bed, but he was dizzy and he fell back. In the same moment he felt a terrible headache coming on and he held his hand to his head, hissing in pain. 

“Oliver?”

“My head hurts, Dig. What the hell happened?” Then it seemed to dawn on him and Oliver sighed deeply. “That woman, she injected me with something. And before that… I couldn’t remember. The injection gave me amnesia.” 

Dig was relieved that they had Oliver back, but his friend seemed to be in a great amount of pain by the looks of it. Oliver again tried to get up, but he failed and he just laid down, dropping his head in the pillows and trying to bite off the moans spilling from his lips. 

“I’ll call Felicity, she was trying to analyse the injection to see if there was anything we could do. I guess it’s been wearing off while you were asleep.” Dig pulled out his phone and quickly dialled Felicity’s number.  
When she picked up Dig reached out his phone to Oliver.

“Hey.” He just said and he could hear the gasp from the other side of the line.

“Oliver?” Felicity managed to get out and he smiled at the sound of her voice. 

“Yeah, it’s me. All of me.” He repeated so that she should know that it was indeed Oliver on the phone and not the Ollie who had been with her in the past couple of days. The silence on the other side informed him that she understood.

“I’ve been… I’ve been trying to analyse the injection but I… I have no idea what is in it.” Her voice sounded sad and Oliver wanted nothing more than to comfort her. He remember their shared kisses and how they slept in the same bed. 

“We’re coming to the foundry.” Oliver said to her and although both Dig and Felicity protested his decision, he would do so anyway. He handed the phone over to Dig and then got out of bed, despite the headache plaguing him. 

“Oliver, maybe you should rest some more before…” Dig began as Oliver began to dress himself slowly.

“I’m done with resting and everything else, Dig. I don’t know who she was, or what she wants, but that woman stole my memories. I want to know why and what it is that is driving her. I’m not going to get that done while I’m in bed. So either help me or leave me, but do something!” Oliver gritted out between clenched teeth.

“I’ll get the car.” Dig announced before leaving Oliver be. He was trembling and he didn’t know how to deal with the headache, but he had to go through with this. Oliver Queen might not be able to find the woman again, but the Arrow could. 

He walked downstairs at his usual pace, trying not to show how much it hurt. Thankfully he did not run into anyone as he went through the frontdoor where Diggle was waiting for him. He quickly got into the car and tried to relax a little, closing his eyes.

Diggle woke him up when they stopped at Verdant. He had to shake Oliver before he would wake up, which was nothing for a man who was a light sleeper and an insomniac to boot. Oliver could barely keep his eyes open on the walk to the basement of Verdant, where Felicity was waiting for them.

Felicity hurried towards the stairs when she heard the door open. She waited for Diggle and Oliver to come down and hugged Oliver to her, wrapping her arms around him and holding him tight. 

“Oliver.” She whispered and he smiled as he kissed her on the cheek before pulling back.

“Have you found anything?” He asked and she walked to her computer where she had the result of the analysis. 

“I believe it is a sort of poison, but the results were inconclusive.” Felicity began before she turned in her chair and reached out a hand to Oliver, touching his arm.

“And you’re… you? I mean, your memories and…” She blushed slightly as Oliver’s smile widened and he nodded. 

“I remember everything.” He just answered as he took her hand and squeezed it lightly. Then he turned his attention to the screen and they tried to make something out of it, but failed. Oliver growled in frustration and walked to the case with his Arrow gear.

“If Oliver Queen can’t find her, then Arrow will.” 

He reached out towards his bow and hissed in pain, leaning against the table. Felicity was at his side immediately, a hand on his back. Diggle was looking at him with worry in his eyes.

“Maybe it’s not the time for the Arrow, Oliver. You can’t stand up straight without pain.” Diggle said and Felicity looked at Oliver.

“What’s happened? Why didn’t you tell me?” Felicity scolded as she rubbed Oliver’s back.

“I didn’t want you to worry. I have a headache, that’s all.” Oliver replied. He willed himself to take the bow and quiver and shook off both Felicity and Diggle, pulling on the Arrow’s clothes.   
He would ignore the headache as best as he could. 

“Oliver.” 

He had donned the mask but had not pulled his hood over his head yet when Felicity called to him. He turned so that he could face her and was struck with how concerned she looked for him. 

“Please be careful.” 

Oliver didn’t answer but laid an arm over Felicity’s shoulders and pulled her close for a moment before going upstairs and disappearing into the night. He climbed atop the roofs so that he could get a view of his city.  
Where would someone hide who was trying to take over?   
Suddenly he felt someone looking at him and on a rooftop just on the other side of the street, completely dressed in black.

Oliver hurried, knowing his city by heart, knowing where he could cross without having to leave the rooftops. Of course the person looking at him would not remain in place but he could at least try.   
When he neared the rooftop he slowed down, calmed his heartbeat and waited. He wasn’t disappointed.

“You are the one they call the Arrow, I presume.” A female voice sounded to his right. Oliver rose quietly and he stepped out, still in the shadows but out of hiding.   
The woman standing a few feet away from him was dressed a lot like him, not in green but in black, in trousers, a jacket and a hood, her face and hair hidden beneath it.

“Who are you?” Oliver asked, quickly pushing the button on his suit which enabled him to distort his voice.

“That doesn’t matter. I’ve heard that you are buddies with Oliver Queen… Tell him to meet me.” 

“Why should he?” Oliver asked again and the woman already stepped back into the shadows.

“I didn’t complete his injection. The complete injection would just give him memory loss, now he will suffer terrible headaches.” 

“What’s in it for you, giving him memory loss?” Oliver asked, but he didn’t get an answer. He ran towards the other side of the rooftop, but the woman was already gone.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver tries to find the woman responsible for losing his memory, but the clock is ticking.

Oliver made it back to the Foundry, but barely. His headache was getting worse and he was more stumbling than walking off the stairs where Dig was already waiting for him.   
He leaned heavily on his friend and was gently pushed into one of the comfortable chairs.

“Please don’t shout.” He murmured softly at Dig and Felicity, who were looking at him with such concern in their eyes that he had to shut them out.

“It’s the headache, Oliver, we aren’t shouting.” Felicity whispered. After a few minutes of just watching Oliver she couldn’t stand it anymore and she walked up to him, wrapping her arms around him as she stood next to his chair.

“I’ll be alright.” He assured her with a slight smile, but he couldn’t bring himself to open his eyes.

“Did you learn anything? Did you find her?” Felicity asked as Dig pulled a chair up for her to sit in so that she didn’t have to move. She liked having Oliver closeby so that she could at least feel his warmth, make sure that he was still there.

“Yeah… she doesn’t know who I am, only about Oliver Queen. She wants him to lose his memory for some reason. And…” He sighed because he really didn’t want to tell his friends this. “She said that if she doesn’t complete the injection, that I’m as good as dead. The headaches are only going to get worse.”

“What?” Dig and Felicity almost say in unison. Felicity releases Oliver from her hold and he sags against the back of the chair, trying to relieve some of the pain.

“The good news is that she wants Oliver Queen, that is what she told the Arrow. I can probably meet with her as Oliver Queen and get her to tell me what she wants.” He breathed deeply a couple of times and tried to concentrate, but it was beginning to be very hard. 

“Oliver… with that headache you can’t think clearly. Who knows what she will do to you.” Dig stated as he looked at Oliver earnestly. Oliver opened his eyes and Felicity could even see the pain in them.

“Then I’ll need a painkiller. A powerful one.” 

Felicity lowered her eyes because suggesting what she was about to say next, seemed wrong, but she was willing to say it because of Oliver. It didn’t matter all that much, as long as he was safe.

“You could… do as she suggests. Take the injection. You were starting to remember again after a few days. That will happen again and then you’re rid of it.” She said. Oliver glanced up at her.

“That first injection was probably some sort of test. This second is supposed to wipe me out completely.” He leaned forward so that he could take her hand and look her in the eye, however much it pained him to do so. “I forgot where I’d been, but not who I was… okay, I felt younger than I was, but I was still me. Oliver. Now I would be a nameless shell.”

Felicity nodded, Oliver would never agree to that. Nobody would agree to those terms. She knew that of course, but a part of her just wanted Oliver to be safe, memories or not. They could make new memories together, she thought quietly, but then she snapped back to reality.   
The man in front of her wouldn’t even be a shadow of Oliver, he would just be, period.

“Okay… I’ll get you what you need if you promise to rest. If the headache is getting stronger you shouldn’t be up and certainly not be playing the hero.”

“I’m not meeting her again as the Arrow. Next time I’m going as myself. I want to know what that woman is up to, who she is.” Felicity had noticed that Oliver hadn’t let go of her yet and she didn’t mind it. He breathed in deeply to manage the pain he was feeling and squeezed her hand just a bit tighter, making her look up.

“I do love it when you’re being bossy.” Oliver smiled, his tone playful, trying to think of other more pleasant things than the fate which might be meant for him.

Felicity quirked an eyebrow and used her free hand to gently tap Oliver on the cheek, before smiling.  
“That’s Ollie coming out to play, isn’t it?” She asked before she stood, slipping her hand out of Oliver’s grasp. She had things to do if they were going to try and find who had done this to Oliver.

“We’re one and the same.” Oliver shrugged and perhaps that was difficult to understand, because the party boy Oliver had once been was hard to rhyme with the man who wanted to save his city, who had been tortured and almost killed multiple times. 

“That’s why I like the both of you.” Felicity smiled and walked to her computer screens. Oliver had to blink several times as the idea settled into his already befuddled brain. Liked him. Felicity genuinely liked him.  
He still remembered how she had been around him when he had lost his memory. A part of Oliver wanted nothing more than to say ‘fuck it’ and let the serum do its job, let it take him over and get rid of all the painful memories which had been flooding him since that second injection had hit him.

But he wanted to be himself, like he had told Felicity. Besides, she didn’t want him to give up, not really. That was not her. They had always taken the more difficult road, and their reward at the end of it would be more satisfying. That is what Oliver tried to tell himself. Good things didn’t always come easy. 

As a particular pain seemed to pierce his brain, he couldn’t keep quiet anymore and hissed between his teeth, making both Dig and Felicity jump. 

“That’s it, I’m going to go find him something decent to kill the pain.” Dig murmured under his breath as he walked out of the Foundry, leaving Felicity and Oliver behind. Oliver quietly walked up to Felicity and wrapped his arms around her, his head resting on one of her shoulders.

“Ehm… Oliver…” Felicity began as she felt him, his strong arms holding her, memories coming back of the nights and days they had just recently spent together.

“Still me… Can I just hold you, please? I need something… someone… to hold onto.” Oliver murmured quietly as he closed his eyes. He needed something to anchor him to reality, something that wasn’t a part of his pain.  
He couldn’t think of anyone better than Felicity.

“Okay… are you sure you can keep standing?” Felicity asked and she felt Oliver nod against her.

“Did you find anything?” His voice had become a low murmur, because the sound was like bullets ricocheting in his skull. Felicity had lowered her voice as well since she had noticed the effect on Oliver.

“I think… I narrowed down some choices based on the images I got from the street cameras. She was waiting on the roof for you, but she got there from one of the backstreets and that camera picked her up. I think she hides her figure a bit, her clothing is more bulky than her frame.” Felicity mutters as she stared at the grainy takes from the images.

“I think she works alone. It was the same woman on the rooftop as the one I’ve seen in my room earlier. She isn’t a particularly skilled fighter either.” Oliver was trying to keep his eyes open. “She probably knows her science… or maybe knows someone very well who does.” Oliver then frowned and his hands squeezed together, making Felicity jump as his hold tightened considerably.

“A small scar… on the back of her hand. She didn’t wear gloves, not the first time and not the second time. But she didn’t leave any fingerprints.” They had wiped Oliver’s room down after the initial attack and had come up empty.

“Female scientists with scars.” Felicity sighed as she tried to run the image through a sort of facial recognition, although she knew it was a long shot. She had tired databases from colleges nearby, police records… suddenly a ping sounded on her screen to her right and they both gazed at it.

“Samantha Johnson, Sam.” Oliver read. “She was killed a year ago.” 

“In a fire in her lab.” Felicity continued before she lifted her head just slightly. “She could have done it herself. Or someone else tried to get rid of her and it didn’t work out quite as planned.”

“I’m guessing the second option.” Oliver sighed just as Dig walked through the door again, handing a small syringe to Oliver.

“Best the army could get their hands on.” He briefly informed.

“Good.” Oliver answered and without thinking about it he plunged the needle into the vein clearly visible in the crook of his elbow and emptied it.

“You do know that is a very heavy dose.” Dig said and Oliver shrugged.

“One needle or the other, doesn’t matter much.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver meets the woman, Samantha, as himself on the rooftops of Starling City.

Felicity gasped as she saw what Oliver was doing. She should have been used to it by now, the rash decisions Oliver could make, the complete disregard of his own safety… still it threw her somewhat.

“Oliver!” Her voice shot up and Oliver looked over his shoulder towards her. He gave her a quick smile, which he probably thought was reassuring. 

“Hey, you know me. I’m going to be okay, Felicity.” His footsteps had grown a little more certain as he walked towards her again and he placed a kiss on the top of her head. She rolled her eyes and Oliver’s smile widened.  
He was slowly beginning to feel better and they had a bit of a lead. Samantha Johnson. She probably had family, someone they could ask some questions.

“I’m going back to that rooftop… I’m sure she’s keeping an eye out for Oliver Queen.” He said as he walked away to change into his regular clothes. He hoped that the woman would want to speak to him, that she might even reveal her scheme, because there was more to it than giving Oliver Queen memory loss.

“I never was that bad of a person.” Oliver muttered to himself as he thought things through. That villains were coming after the Arrow was a given, he had a high profile, he had killed, he had saved the city, put away a number of people… but as Oliver Queen he might be high profile, but in a different kind of way.  
Nobody blatantly disliked Oliver Queen. Not anymore.

He walked out as himself. The drugs had kicked in and created a bit of a buzz which he could only describe as walking on clouds but he tried to stay grounded. He hoped that his system would be able to process the painkiller so that he wouldn’t overdose. He buttoned his cuffs and wanted to walk out, when Felicity called him back.

“What is it?” He asked as he turned around, walking towards the screens.

“There.” Felicity pointed at her right screen where the camera feed from one of the back allies was still live. They could both see a dark haired woman lurking in the shadows.

“Must be her. I’ll see what I can find out.” Oliver nodded. He stopped when he felt fingers on his arm and looked over his shoulder.

“Just… be careful.” Felicity stated and Oliver flashed her a smile.

“Always.”

He headed out the door and tried to remember that he had to act as Oliver Queen and not as the Arrow. He took his bike to the back alley opposite of the one which could be seen on the screen and jumped up at the first ladder which lead to the roof.

“You’re not as weak as you want people to know, Mr. Queen.” A voice sounded just before he stepped over the ledge of the roof. On the other side stood the same woman as an hour before, the woman he had encountered as the Arrow.

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” He answered, his hands by his sides and his eyes on the person standing in front of him, not sure what she was about to do. She seemed unarmed, but from experience he knew that looks could be highly deceiving.

“Your friend delivered my message, since you’re here.” It didn’t sound like a question, so Oliver just nodded.

“What’s the meaning of this?” Oliver asked as he gestured towards himself. “I mean, what’s in it for you that I loose my memory?” 

The woman stepped closer, her face hidden by the dark hood she was wearing. Her body was covered in a pair of dark overalls, which hid her form completely. On her hands she wore black gloves, so it was difficult to see her in the near darkness on the rooftop.

“I am sorry to say that you’re not all that important to me, Mr. Queen. You are an experiment. If the injection I gave you, the drug, works on you, then it will also work on others. Others with money and influence. I have also found the error of the second injection, I will have to make it stronger so that I only need one. But perhaps your mind is more powerful than that of someone else… so I need to experiment more.” The woman concluded with a shrug, it didn’t really seemed to matter to her.

“So you wanted this meeting for what? To save my life?” Oliver snorted as he shook his head. “I’m not buying, Miss Johnson, not at all.”

By mention of the name, the woman seemed to freeze. So they had been right. Oliver was careful not to move as the woman came closer, but she kept her distance. So Oliver thought that he might have been right again in the fact that the woman wasn’t really educated in any fighting style.

“Did your friend do the research?” She asked with a hint of sarcasm in her voice. Oliver flashed a small smile and gave a nod. How else better to convince Samantha that the Arrow was an entirely different person?

“How much do you know?” She asked.

“Not much, just that you are supposed to be dead.” Oliver replied as he took a few steps back and sat down. He was supposed to have a grave headache and although the drugs were suppressing it at the moment, Oliver knew that it was just a matter of time before the headache would return in full force.

“Dead… yes…” She mumbled as she watched how Oliver sat down. She stepped a little closer and Oliver was estimating that he could reach for her and get this all over.   
“Perhaps that would have been better.” 

Samantha raised her hood, flipping it so that it landed at the back of her shoulders. Oliver was not prepared for what he saw, he did not expect to see a face covered by a pressure mask. Her long hair was dark, and carefully braided so that it could settle under the hood. Oliver guessed there would be other wounds under the suit.  
She huffed when Oliver didn’t react.

“You’re better at hiding your disgust than others.” She then said and Oliver shrugged again.

“Believe it or not but I’ve actually seen worse. And I have my own scars…” He briefly lifted his own shirt before letting it drop again. “So no, I’m not hiding my disgust because I’m not disgusted.”

It took the woman by surprise and for a moment she didn’t know what to say. Oliver took advantage and stood again, walking closer.

“Stop!” Samantha suddenly stepped back and held up a gun. Oliver lifted his hands.

“Is this really necessary?”

“Yes. Are you going to let me give you that injection or are you willing to suffer those headaches and let them get worse? Make your choice and do it quickly, I don’t have time for this.” 

“I will let you give me the injection if you tell me what it is meant for.” Oliver repeated and Samantha rolled her eyes at him.

“I want to see if it works, like I said. If I give you that injection you basically become a puppet. And if you can become one then…”

“Others can become that too.” Oliver ended with a nod. “So you’re going for world dominance?”

Samantha shrugged. “Something like that.”

“You know that my friend won’t let that happen.” Oliver replied and before Samantha could respond he wrapped a hand around her throat which forced her into unconsciousness. 

“Oliver, are you alright?” A voice sounded over his earpiece.

“Yeah, I’m coming back in and..; with a present.” He answered as he picked Samantha up and carefully carried her with him towards the Foundry where Dig and Felicity were waiting for him. Felicity got up from her chair so that he could put Samantha in it and then he stepped back.

“So that’s her, the one that pricked you?” Felicity looked at her. “Poor girl.” 

“Yeah.” Oliver answered with a nod. “A poor girl that wants to inject world leaders so that they can be made into her puppets.”

“Oh.” Felicity exclaimed. “Do you… do you know why?”

“I think that some people don’t need a reason…” Oliver sighed. He really had no idea where to go from here and his headache had returned. “But we need to find that antidote… who knows if she has injected others.”

His speech had slowed down enough for both Felicity and Dig to notice something was off and they looked at each other with a lot of worry.


End file.
